When my stylish daughter received a $40 gift card to a shoe store for her 13th birthday, I sensed a clash was imminent. For the past two years, we had been debating the suitability of towering heels—she was all for them, while I was firmly against.
A few weeks later, our calm outing to the store for back-to-school sneakers quickly took an unexpected turn. After selecting a pair of Nikes, my husband and son innocently headed for the checkout. But a quick glance around the store revealed my daughter sprawled on the floor, excitedly trying on five-inch cork wedge sandals adorned with thick black straps and shiny gold buckles.
“Don’t say anything!” she beamed at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief. I was tempted to help her, but instead, I stood back and watched as she stood up and strutted toward the mirror, ready for a little self-admiration.
This wasn’t our first encounter with her love for high heels. When she was 11, my sister-in-law gifted her a pair of shiny black six-inch peep-toe stilettos. My daughter’s reaction was priceless, as if she had just received a box full of puppies. My husband shot me a confused look—one that didn’t fade even after I admitted I had approved the gift.
“I love them! I’m wearing these out tonight!” she exclaimed the next day, clicking across our hardwood floors.
“No, you’re not,” we both said in unison.
“Give me three reasons why not!” she challenged, her negotiation skills shining through.
“They’re just not… appropriate,” we replied, citing potential injuries and the “wrong impression” they might give. When that didn’t work, we threw around terms like “cheap” and even referenced “ladies of the night.” Honestly, I felt torn. While I didn’t want my preteen in stripper heels, I struggled to articulate why they were wrong. They weren’t illegal, and she wasn’t going out naked. They were just shoes, right?
Eventually, I decided to let her wear them, especially since my husband decided to defer to me on the issue. She wore those heels out twice—once for dinner and once for a play. Both times, she received some puzzled looks, but mostly, she was met with supportive comments from women who appreciated her confidence and spirit, even when she admitted the shoes were a little painful but totally worth it.
Two years later, back at the shoe store, my husband asked, “Are you really going to let her buy those?” I remained silent, torn between my instincts and my daughter’s joy, and he left the store without further comment.
Later, I explained to him that I said yes because of the look on my daughter’s face as she admired herself in that mirror. She wasn’t just seeing her shoes; she was envisioning her future self, bursting with confidence and joy. For years, she had expressed frustration about being caught between childhood fun and adult responsibilities. Those cork wedges represented hope for her that she wouldn’t always feel stuck in the middle.
I also felt it was important to respect her choice with her birthday money. Admittedly, walking beside my 13-year-old in five-inch heels made me a bit self-conscious. I wondered what the other moms thought, judging me for letting her wear such outrageous shoes. Yet she took pride in standing out, often going against the grain, as evidenced by her refusal to read popular series like Harry Potter just because everyone else was.
The best part? As we strolled through the mall alongside my suddenly tall teenager, we couldn’t help but laugh as she occasionally reached for my shoulder for balance. I kept a straight face as she draped her arm over me, and our shared laughter made the moment all the more special. We both understood the layers at play—how absurd it was in one sense and yet how trivial it felt in another. This experience brought us closer together as mother and daughter.
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In summary, I let my daughter wear sky-high heels because they symbolize her transition into young adulthood, her self-expression, and the joy of making her own choices.