If you’re expecting a baby, brace yourself for some genuine insights into postpartum life. Forget the sugar-coated stories from your well-meaning friends or the clinical details found in pregnancy books. Instead, let’s dive into the real deal, shared candidly by blogger Jenna Fields on her Facebook page, where she posted a photo of her newborn along with a list titled “20 Things to Expect After You’ve Delivered Your Baby.”
Veteran mothers are nodding in agreement while soon-to-be moms might want to prepare themselves. So, heed the warning and keep reading—unless you want to be caught off guard by the realities of peeing and pooping after childbirth.
Your First Trip to the Bathroom
First up, Jenna warns about your first trip to the bathroom. “Grab a jug and pour it over yourself like you’re in some bizarre adult film,” she advises. The peri-bottle becomes your new best friend during this time, and honestly, it’s a lifesaver. Can I get a round of applause for that little gadget? We cherish it like gold, especially in those early days.
Your First Bowel Movement
Now let’s talk about your first bowel movement. Yes, it’s as terrifying as it sounds. “Stay calm. You’re not giving birth again; it just feels like it,” Jenna reassures. Those who have gone through it know the struggle is real. We’re all in this together!
Newborn Appearances
Then there’s the not-so-pretty truth about newborn appearances. Jenna puts it bluntly: “Your baby looks kinda odd. Like a tiny alien.” While everyone else might gush about how adorable your little one is, you might be thinking they resemble a slightly purple, hairless grandpa covered in dried blood. It’s all part of the charm, right?
The First Shower Post-Birth
Jenna also describes the first shower post-birth as resembling a scene from a horror movie. And let’s not forget about hospital food—let’s just say it’s not winning any culinary awards. Plus, your tummy will likely resemble a deflated balloon, adding to the charm of postpartum life.
Overwhelming Emotions
Perhaps the most relatable comment Jenna makes is about the overwhelming emotions. “Everything feels angry. Your brain, your eyes, your stomach, and especially your vagina—it’s livid,” she says. Amen to that!
Additional Resources
If you’re interested in more tips and insights about home insemination, check out this informative post on intracervical insemination. For a great resource on pregnancy and home insemination, you can visit Progyny. And if you’re looking for an authority on the topic of at-home insemination kits, be sure to check out Make a Mom.
Conclusion
In summary, postpartum life is a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that can be both hilarious and daunting. Jenna’s candid take on the realities of life after giving birth offers insight that every expectant mom should know.