Last night, as I sank into a bubble bath with a chilled drink and a glossy magazine (no judgements, please), I felt something strange attach itself to my leg.
“Who are you, odd little figure?” I wondered. Was he a leftover from a fast-food meal or a bizarre little toy from the depths of a forgotten playroom?
I placed him on the tub’s edge, next to other toys, and then my gaze drifted to Barbie, who was entwined with an old-school Skeletor. Her slightly gnawed fingers were sweetly clasped in his, as if she was about to toss her tangled hair with a laugh.
What a curious sight to have on my bubble-filled tub! And how fortunate I am to be the mom of these two wonderfully odd girls.
In that moment, I realized just how much I adore them and how different my life would have been without their vibrant presence. Our home wouldn’t have the same lively energy without their artwork plastered on the walls or the scuffs from their little cartwheels waiting to be scrubbed away.
I could never love my partner as deeply if I hadn’t witnessed him dressing Barbie in tiny denim or gently carrying our sleeping child from the car to her bed. Life would be dreadfully dull without glittery stickers stuck to my socks or an American Girl earring inexplicably lodged in my toe.
As I stared at the curious little figure, I felt an immense responsibility to not mess them up.
After my bath, I watched them play “house,” wishing for their world to remain forever innocent, where synthetic ice cream never melts and couch cushions are endless minivans, with sisters who are always best friends (or sometimes husbands, depending on the imaginary scenario).
I snapped on my daughter’s superhero cape and held her doll, realizing how unprepared I feel to guide them through the real world beyond their playful playhouse. I lack the wisdom on baby-care, relationships, or navigating the complexities of growing up, which is a daunting thought. However, I can share what I’ve learned through my own ups and downs, a blend of mistakes and joyful moments.
So, I decided to jot down my thoughts. I wrote a note to my partner, Alex:
“Dear Alex, if I should meet an untimely end due to an unfortunate incident involving a plastic toy or an American Girl accessory, please pass along this quirky collection of wisdom from your slightly eccentric and loving wife.”
- Use a baby wipe to remove deodorant stains from your shirt, a dull razor for removing pilling on sweaters, and a dryer sheet for dusting. For everything else, vinegar or beer will do – choose wisely.
- Life may not always be a perfect candy-coated adventure; some days will be vibrant orange or even dull yellow. But any day that isn’t a butterscotch is still worth living.
- Your heart will break at some point. I wish I could shield you from that pain, but it’s inevitable. Remember, it’s better to have loved and lost than to not know the lyrics to Taylor Swift songs.
- Shake the ketchup before using it to avoid that funky tomato water. And skip scary movies before bed.
- Always show love and kindness, but don’t forget to have a little fun and keep things light-hearted.
- You probably won’t have a dramatic enough story to land on a reality show, and that’s perfectly okay.
- Avoid dating anyone who calls you “Lil’ Mama” or uses silly phrases like “Talk to me!” or refers to body parts as “fun bags.”
- Seize opportunities to be generous, and if you get the chance to hold a baby animal, do it! And yes, dress it up if you can.
- Take risks when you can, but maybe skip the “road less traveled” because that path can be fraught with danger (and tetanus).
- Not everything that glitters is gold, or even a good choice for eye makeup.
- There are moments in life that call for some strong language. Sometimes only a good “Dang!” will suffice. However, avoid using offensive slurs at all costs.
- Practice good manners; say “bless you” when someone sneezes and “thank you” when someone holds the door open. It’s just the right thing to do.
- Avoid sneaky behavior unless it involves sneaking snacks into the movies.
- Stay clear of situations where you hear, “Girl, hold my earrings.”
- Remember that social media is just a highlight reel of life – it’s not the full story. Enjoy the snapshots, but don’t be fooled into thinking everyone else has a perfect life.
- Stay away from anything called jungle juice or suspicious liquids from shady places. In fact, just steer clear of fraternity basements altogether.
- Never text and drive, or drink and drive, but feel free to sing your heart out while driving.
- Win all the spelling bees you can, but avoid wet T-shirt contests. Trust me on this one.
- May your comebacks come to you instantly, rather than three hours later while you’re shampooing.
- Live wildly, but maybe not in the “camping at Coachella” way.
- Everyone has their unique story, and just because it differs from yours doesn’t make it any less valuable.
- Know your social security number, your exact bra size, and your worth.
- A hand that instinctively protects you during a sudden stop is a hand filled with love.
- Don’t be afraid to say “I’m sorry” when you mean it, but don’t do it just to be liked.
- Life is rarely as glamorous as it seems; you’ll rarely run into an ex looking flawless or dash into a store for just one item.
- Always have at least one nude bra and never, ever take nude selfies.
I’ve said it before, my dear girls, and I’ll say it again: never stifle your uniqueness. Stay quirky, stay kind, stay curious, stay funny… and always stay my daughters.
This post was originally featured on another platform.
In summary, this heartfelt letter serves as a whimsical guide for my daughters, filled with life lessons and humorous insights. It encourages them to embrace their quirks, navigate life with kindness, and cherish the memories they create.