When I was growing up, playdates were a foreign concept. Kids simply roamed the neighborhood, seeking friends until the streetlights came on. Fast forward to today, and everything is meticulously organized, with dates and times set for get-togethers. As the one coordinating these playdates, I feel a certain pressure to ensure my kids display exemplary behavior, since my reputation is also on the line.
I have a checklist of reminders I share with my kids before they head out to play. While I like to think these guidelines teach them how to behave in social situations, a part of me just wants to prevent them from embarrassing not only themselves but also me as their parent. Here are some of the key pointers I share:
- Pretending to be a dog is perfectly fine, but no biting, please!
- Even if it’s not your favorite activity, lend a hand with tidying up.
- Always flush the toilet. It might be a bit loud, but no one needs to know about your bathroom fears.
- If the snacks aren’t to your liking, just say, “No thank you,” instead of being harsh. No need to reveal your inner critic.
- If you happen to get sick, aim for the toilet or the trash can—let’s avoid being known as the family that vomits on furniture.
- Feel free to show off your dance moves; they’re adorable!
- Remove your shoes, even if others don’t. I know where those feet have been!
- If your socks have holes, it’s best to take those off too.
- Aim carefully in the bathroom, please. Let’s keep it neat this time.
- Please don’t break anything. It’s inconsiderate and makes us look like troublemakers. If it happens, a simple apology will do.
- Offer to help with homework. It might seem dull, but it could lead to more invites.
- No fighting, even if others are rude. Be the bigger person and simply avoid them afterwards. That’s how life works.
- Use “please” and “thank you,” even if the food isn’t appealing.
- Keep your clothes on. We’re not nudists around here!
- Share your toys, even if they aren’t reciprocating. Consider it practice for future relationships.
- No eating boogers—yours or theirs. Just. No.
- If they’re unfamiliar with Pokémon, skip that topic. It’s like a contagion! Same goes for Minecraft.
- Avoid name-calling, like “butthole.” I regret ever teaching you that one.
- If you need to scratch an itch, do so in the bathroom and wash your hands. We don’t want to be that kid.
- If you need to use the restroom, go right away. I don’t want any accidents leading to more sofa replacements.
- Keep these rules to yourself—let’s not discuss me at all!
I don’t recite this entire list each time they go out, just the bits they need a refresher on. Ultimately, I want them to represent themselves and our family well. I know my kids’ strengths and weaknesses, and playdates often reveal both, the good and the less-than-perfect.
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In summary, teaching kids proper behavior before playdates ensures they make the most of social interactions while reflecting positively on our family.