In recent years, mass shootings have become a distressing reality that many communities face. Just yesterday, a playground in Townville, South Carolina, was disrupted by a teenage shooter, resulting in injuries to two students and a teacher. Similar incidents have occurred elsewhere, including a severe attack during a morning commute in Houston and a tragic shooting at a shopping mall in Washington state. In our current climate, it’s essential to prepare our children for such emergencies.
Before I embraced the role of a stay-at-home parent, I spent years teaching seventh-grade language arts. The Columbine tragedy occurred shortly before I began my teaching career, and though it lingered in my mind, I felt a sense of safety. However, my perspective shifted dramatically over the years.
After the events of 9/11, while teaching in Arlington, Virginia, I experienced the chaos firsthand, including students anxiously waiting for news about their parents. The D.C. sniper attacks further heightened my awareness of the potential dangers around us. My school implemented shelter-in-place drills, and we practiced remaining silent and securing the premises. As educators, we strived to maintain a sense of normalcy for our students, even amid fear.
When my first child was born, I left my teaching position. As I transitioned into motherhood, I found myself increasingly aware of the tragedies reported on the news—mostly affecting older children in public spaces like malls and theaters. As my kids grew, I began planning outings during “safer” times to minimize risk.
However, the reality of needing to discuss safety measures with my own children became undeniable. Conversations about hiding in closets, barricading doors, and even playing dead became necessary, which was heartbreaking. I struggled to convey these concepts to my precious little ones, feeling unprepared to talk about the gravity of such situations. I initially relied on the school’s safety measures, believing we lived in a relatively secure community.
That belief was shattered when a nearby resident was arrested for plotting a mass shooting, possessing 25 firearms and thousands of rounds of ammunition. This incident forced me to confront my fears. I realized I had to take proactive steps to ensure my children understood how to stay safe.
Practical Advice for Discussing Safety
To navigate these difficult conversations, I sought help from a friend, Laura, a specialist in traumatic stress. She provided practical advice for preparing children for such discussions:
- Address Questions Simply: Be honest in your responses but avoid overwhelming them with information. Understand their specific concerns—for instance, when they ask about locked doors, they may fear being trapped.
- Open Dialogue About Emotions: Encourage children to express their feelings. Discuss their worries about safety and create practical plans for emergencies, including escape routes and check-in strategies.
- Expect Regression: It’s normal for children to seek reassurance and show clinginess during such discussions. Be supportive and understanding of their emotional needs.
- Limit Adult Anxiety: Remember that adults can often perceive these situations as more frightening than children do. Focus on your child’s concerns to avoid adding to their fear.
- Manage Your Own Fears: Acknowledge your feelings and engage in discussions with other adults to process your emotions. Be proactive by creating your own safety plans and getting involved in community initiatives.
Parenting is fraught with challenges, and the concern for our children’s safety is paramount. We empathize with grieving families featured in the news, which can amplify our fears. However, facing these conversations head-on is essential to help equip our children for the unpredictable nature of our world.
And remember, after your little ones are tucked in for the night, it’s okay to take a moment for yourself—whether that means enjoying a drink or shedding a tear. We’re all human, navigating this journey together.
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In summary, preparing our children for the possibility of mass shootings requires open communication, emotional support, and proactive planning. It’s essential to create a safe space for dialogue and equip them with the knowledge to respond effectively in emergencies.