Most would describe me as someone who thrives in a lively atmosphere filled with friends and family. On my better days, I bring my A-game as a parent, partner, daughter, and friend, truly engaging with those around me. But there are days when that energy just disappears.
Today was one of those days. It felt like I was plummeting down a dark tunnel, where everything around me seemed overwhelming. Such days aren’t frequent, but they do occur more often than I care to admit. You know those moments when you can’t seem to be the parent you aspire to be, and you can’t even identify the reason why? On days like these, I find myself shutting out the world, focusing solely on the bare essentials.
These days can feel heavy, almost suffocating. I often don’t want to answer calls or check messages; I just want to crawl under my covers and escape. I’m not entirely sure what set off this funk today. Perhaps it was my son waking up multiple times due to nightmares, or our air conditioner breaking down for a week. Maybe it was the torrential rain I endured while taking him for a blood draw, only to find out that his iPad had died. Or maybe it’s the anxiety that comes with the possibility of more storms trapping us indoors for days on end.
It could be a mixture of all of that. Life is full of unpredictable challenges, and as mothers, we learn to navigate through this chaos. We often rise to the occasion like champions — most of the time. But there are days when the weight of everything makes it hard to muster the will to engage. We just want to retreat, to recharge, but responsibilities don’t allow for that.
The truth is, life keeps moving forward, and tasks still need to be completed, whether we’re mentally prepared or not. Meals need cooking, drinks need pouring, and let’s not forget the inevitable messes that require cleaning. Our little ones depend on us for even the simplest tasks, and while we might feel drained, we push through, often giving them a diluted version of ourselves.
I’ve come to accept that it’s unrealistic to expect a mother to be “on” every single day. Some days are just plain tough, and it’s crucial to embrace both the highs and the lows. This doesn’t make us flawed; it makes us human. No mother is flawless, and those who appear to have it all together may just be putting on a show.
There’s no way those perfect moms can whip up a healthy meal when they’re on the verge of collapse, nor can they plan exciting activities when all they want is to hide away. It’s simply not feasible.
On days like today, I’ve learned to parent in survival mode, and I’m perfectly okay with that. I don’t mind serving canned soup or letting my son binge on his iPad. I’m fine with him wearing pajamas all day or feeding the cat half his sandwich, even if it means crumbs will cover the floor. I can cancel playdates without guilt because today is just not the day for socializing. I even feel comfortable asking my partner to come home early because I’m feeling overwhelmed.
It’s vital to recognize that moms have off days too. Sometimes, we just need the space to breathe without feeling guilty. I know that tomorrow may be brighter, and I might wake up with a fresh perspective. Or maybe I won’t. But for today, I need to allow myself to feel a little lost without judgment — especially from myself.
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Summary:
Parenting can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and some days, we just need to survive. It’s essential to recognize that feeling overwhelmed is a natural part of motherhood. Embracing the tough days and understanding that we don’t have to be perfect all the time can help us recharge and regain our energy for tomorrow.