Having been happily married for nearly two decades, I wouldn’t call myself a relationship guru. Instead, I feel incredibly blessed and thankful to be part of a marriage that I believe will leave a positive impression on my children. It’s a partnership I hope they might aspire to replicate in their own lives someday.
How have we managed to keep our relationship thriving for so long? It comes down to commitment and continuous effort. We understand that marriage requires ongoing attention, much like a beautiful garden that flourishes with regular care. We treat our relationship as a finely-tuned machine that, while it may need occasional repairs, is never beyond saving. This “marriage machine” runs efficiently, and I hope my children will notice the small, meaningful actions that keep it in great shape.
1. Healthy Disagreements Are Normal
We argue, and then we reconcile. This cycle is visible to our kids, and we don’t shy away from it. Demonstrating respectful arguments teaches them that disagreements don’t equate to a lack of love. Sometimes we go to bed upset, and the kids see that too. We believe that “sleeping on it” can lead to a fresh perspective, which is often better than forcing a resolution that night. Portraying a conflict-free marriage gives children an unrealistic view of relationships.
2. Financial Discussions Are Key
We openly discuss finances in front of our kids — talking about expenses, savings, and the reasons behind our financial choices. Keeping such matters hidden only leads to financial ignorance. Instead, regular conversations about money teach them valuable lessons about financial responsibility.
3. Engage in Political Dialogue
We continuously engage in discussions about politics, educating ourselves and challenging each other’s views. With children observing, it’s crucial that we address current issues together. They will be the future leaders in our society, so it’s vital for them to see that we care about the world they will inherit.
4. Show Affection Regularly
We express affection daily in front of our children. This not only reinforces that marriage is about love but also highlights the importance of companionship. Simple gestures like holding hands in the car or hugging before leaving the house are noticed by our kids. Plus, it’s amusing to see them react dramatically to our displays of affection!
5. Embrace Each Other’s Strengths
We’ve embraced traditional gender roles that suit us, allowing our marriage to function smoothly. I left my full-time job years ago because managing our home brings me joy — I excel at it. Whatever each partner enjoys and is good at should be embraced. Whether both work full time or share responsibilities differently, respecting each other’s roles creates a happy partnership, which is a fantastic example for our children.
Your marriage is likely the first and perhaps only model of genuine love your kids will encounter. Love your spouse boldly and without reservation, allowing your children to witness this powerful bond. They will carry these memories with them as they embark on their own journeys of love.
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In summary, the way you conduct your marriage shapes your children’s understanding of love and relationships. By exemplifying healthy conflict, financial transparency, political engagement, affection, and mutual respect, you provide them with invaluable lessons for their future.