Hey there, lovely. Yes, you in your comfy T-shirt and those stretchy pants, who’s still waiting for the chance to shower and dealing with the less-than-fresh look of your hair. You, with that mysterious spot on your shirt that could be leftover food or maybe a bit of toddler snot—it’s hard to say.
I see you.
It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by motherhood at times. You spend so much energy taking care of everyone else that your own needs seem to vanish altogether, pushed far away like a forgotten item in a store you never visit. I get it; the luxury of a long shower where you can actually shave feels like a dream, and curling your hair or taking a few extra minutes for makeup feels utterly out of reach. Some days, just running a brush through your hair is a major accomplishment. You might be thinking, why bother with anything else?
I understand the feeling that you’ve let go of your former self. There’s that nagging worry that your partner might not find you as attractive anymore. Yet, deep down, you’re okay with it because at the end of a long day, you’re so touched out that sleep is far more appealing than anything else.
If someone handed you $100 right now, I know you’d likely spend it on your little ones. You might think about treating yourself, but you’d probably put it back before reaching the register. That budget for your own clothes and pampering has shifted to fund your kids’ needs—classes, toys, outings to the zoo or the carnival. You convince yourself these expenses are more important. Your body has changed, and the thought of buying larger jeans feels daunting. Yoga pants are your best friend because they’re easy and forgiving.
You might find yourself reminiscing about who you were before becoming a mom. Even though you wouldn’t trade this experience for anything, you still long for that pre-mom version of yourself, who seems so far away now. But I promise you, she’s not gone for good.
Right now, you’re on a journey of learning how to love and nurture another person, all while trying to balance your own needs with those of someone who relies on you entirely. It’s a challenge that doesn’t resolve overnight; it takes time. Until you find that balance, your own needs may take a back seat—because you are a phenomenal mom. So stop being hard on yourself for not having it all together.
It might not happen tomorrow, or even next month, but take heart: one day, your little ones will need less from you, and you’ll find your focus shifting back to yourself. You’ll reclaim time for self-care, whether it’s grooming or taking a moment to do something that makes you feel good. You’ll start to see glimpses of the person you used to be—at first, they’ll be fleeting, but soon they will become more frequent. Eventually, you’ll realize she’s back, transformed and enriched by motherhood.
The early years of parenting can be tough. Expecting to navigate this phase without losing a bit of yourself is as unrealistic as running through a rainstorm without getting wet. But remember, this stage is temporary. Just as the sun breaks through the clouds, your spark will return, shining bright once again.
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In summary, embracing motherhood often means putting your own needs on hold, but remember, your identity isn’t lost forever. With time and self-love, you’ll rediscover the amazing person you are.