Even the most dedicated gamers need a good chuckle now and then. Fortunately, the world of Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) is filled with comedic moments, from botched spells to playful jabs at your party members. Whether you’re dealing with a new player who insists on being a halfling or navigating the antics of a clever Dungeon Master, there’s never a shortage of laughs in a D&D session.
It’s important to remember that humor can vary widely, and while we love a good joke about fictional races like orcs and elves, we steer clear of humor that treads into uncomfortable territory. To keep things light and enjoyable, we focused on the playful, funny side of Dungeons and Dragons. After all, who couldn’t use a little more laughter in their life?
If you find yourself wanting even more jokes, don’t worry! We have plenty of other collections too, like puns about bananas, farm animals, and other geeky themes. But for now, dive into these delightful D&D jokes and let the laughter begin!
Dungeons and Dragons Jokes
- Why do paladins wear chain mail?
Because it’s sacred armor! - How many halflings does it take to light a candle?
You trust a halfling with your candle? - What’s the difference between a wizard and a sorcerer?
Class distinction. - What is a cleric’s favorite hot drink?
Divini-tea! - How many halflings does it take to sharpen a sword?
Three: one to sharpen and one to muddle the issue. - How do you know if there’s a paladin in your party?
Just wait; you’ll find out! - What forest creature helps a druid with their green robe?
A dye-er wolf. - What happens when a dark elf casts sleep on you?
You get drow-sy! - What do you call an orc with two brain cells?
Pregnant. - Where does the ranger store their arrows?
In the monsters! - Three orcs walk into a bar… the fourth one ducks.
- Why is leather armor great for sneaking?
It’s made of hide! - What do you call a thousand-year-old fey?
A Millennielf. - Why should you be cautious of drow paladins?
They’re lloth-ful evil. - What do you get when you mix a zebra with an orangutan?
No idea, but I’m blaming the wizards again! - Why do wizards love fireball?
It’s a well-rounded spell. - Why do elves have pointy ears?
There’s got to be a point to that! - How do you ask a D&D player out?
You ask them for a d8! - How do you get a chord from half-orc bards?
Ask them to play the same note. - What do you call that friend always ready to DM a game?
A carpe DM! - What’s a beholder’s favorite dessert?
Eyes cream! - How many halflings does it take to light a candle?
Surprisingly, one! They’re good for something after all. - Why can’t a fallen paladin walk straight?
He’s out of alignment. - What body of water grants sailing bonuses?
The proficien-sea! - Why was the gnome artificer embarrassed?
His clockwork crocodile had a reptile dysfunction. - What tool helps wizards write runes correctly?
Spell check! - How many elves to sharpen a sword?
Three: one to sharpen, two to sing about it for 400 years. - What’s nine feet long, has six legs, and flies?
Three dead halflings! - Why do interns excel at D&D?
They do it for the experience. - What’s the mineral just out of reach?
Ether ore. - How many humans to replace a door?
Three: two to argue, one to hire a dwarf. - How does a paladin dodge firebolt heat?
He turns up his AC! - What do you call a magician good at cooking?
A sauceror. - Never raise your hand to a halfling.
It leaves your coin purse exposed. - I designed a D&D weapon for wizards.
It’s a tome-shaped melee weapon using intellect for damage. I call it “Book Club.” - The barkeep asked why we brought weapons.
I said, “Mimics.” The party laughed. We all laughed. We killed the table. Good times. - A Demogorgon, a DM, and a sheriff walk into a bar.
My friend shouts, “Wow! This is amazing!” I replied, “Nah, I’ve seen Stranger Things.” - I’m going to buy my DM a goldfish, so I can carp a DM.
- What do you call someone who turns into a mushroom on a full moon?
A mycanthrope. - What’s the difference between a flumph and a half-orc bard?
The flumph is going to a gig. - How many trolls to light a candle?
Just one, but he’s super careful. - Growing up, we were so poor we played Dungeons OR Dragons.
- A human, a half-orc, and an elf walk into a bar… the dwarf walks under it.
- Why haven’t we playtested psion in forever?
Because if you checked it now, it’d blow your mind! - Why did the halfling break up with his warforged girlfriend?
She was too high maintenance. - What’s a D&D player’s favorite rap group?
D12. - This Zamboni operator crashed into our D&D meeting.
He’s always sliding into my DMs. - Why couldn’t the dragon eat his birthday cake?
He ruined it trying to blow out the candles. - Player: “I have a worthless character.”
DM: “Yes, and that bard isn’t great either.” - How do you know if your magic sword is dull?
When it critiques your combat form.
Summary
These Dungeons and Dragons jokes capture the essence of humor found in gaming sessions, poking fun at characters, spells, and the quirks of players. From paladins to halflings, there’s a joke for everyone who has ever rolled a die or fought a dragon. Whether you’re a seasoned player or new to the game, these jokes are sure to bring a smile.
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