As I sit with my newly turned 5-year-old, I hold up a letter and ask, “What letter is this?” He squints at it thoughtfully, then proclaims, “E!” and returns to his toys. “Actually, it’s a Z, August,” I gently correct him, “the last letter of the alphabet.” You’d think such a moment would be significant, but he shrugs it off.
Meanwhile, I’m reading with my 6-year-old, Leo. We dive into Alice in Wonderland, taking turns reading paragraphs. He stumbles on a few words, but he’s quite adept at sounding them out, often making more errors with familiar words than new ones. We’ve already enjoyed Peter Pan, and I strive to offer both boys quality literature that suits their skills and attention spans.
Then there’s August. Leo was reading by three, thanks to his fascination with educational apps like Starfall. August, however, has always preferred more creative pursuits. I’ve tried every method I could think of to teach him his letters—using letter stamps, drawing, and even experimenting with various programs like Getting Ready for the Code and Hooked on Phonics. We made crafts like pipe cleaner insects, button letters, and even elaborate octopi for the letter O. We’ve read countless alphabet books. Yet, despite my best efforts, he still struggles to remember the letter A or how to spell his name.
After countless activities, videos, and my rising anxiety about his progress, I realized I needed to take a step back and accept where he is. Kids develop at their own pace, and August’s journey is simply different from Leo’s. Historically, children didn’t enter kindergarten knowing their letters; I recall singing catchy tunes about letters just to help kids learn. In Finland, children don’t start reading until they’re seven, yet they rank among the best readers globally, as reported by PISA in 2012. I remind myself that August is well within the typical range for his age.
The expectation for kindergarteners to know how to read has only recently become common. Preschool, which often emphasizes structured learning rather than play, typically introduces basic literacy skills. This is part of why we chose to homeschool—early childhood should be about exploration, not being stuck at a desk. August didn’t attend preschool; instead, he spent his time building forts with his brothers and engaging in imaginative play. If Finland’s approach teaches us anything, it’s that this kind of play is exactly what he needs.
When I feel particularly anxious, I think of a friend who was radically unschooled. He didn’t start reading until he was 10, teaching himself through Charles Dickens, and ultimately excelled in higher education and secured a job in his dream field.
August is making progress. We finally discovered a reading program he enjoys and can focus on—he has learned the first five letters of the alphabet and can identify them along with their sounds. At this pace, he should master all the letters in about two months, after which the program will introduce phonetic sounds. I anticipate we won’t begin a formal reading program until he turns 6.
He might be the last reader in our homeschooling group, but I trust he’ll catch up in time. Research shows that late readers perform just as well as early ones. I navigate some family expectations about his literacy, often met with surprise when I share that he’s still learning his letters. But he seems unfazed, and sometimes it’s more about me needing to breathe and relax.
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In summary, every child has their own unique path. While August may not yet recognize his letters, he’s learning at his own pace, and that’s perfectly okay.