On October 11, which is recognized as National Coming Out Day, I found myself reflecting on my journey while riding the subway home. The station was adorned with posters from PFLAG (Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies of Toronto’s LGBTQ community) that struck a chord with me.
One particular poster caught my eye and resonated deeply; the words echoed my own experience when I came out. I remember the weight of that moment—both daunting and liberating. It was a pivotal step towards embracing my true self and finding happiness. Seeing those posters transported me back to that transformative night.
I vividly recall sharing my truth with my mother. The air was tense as I prepared for her reaction, my heart racing with fear of rejection. As we sat down for dinner, I fought back tears and said, “Mom, I need to tell you something. Before anything happens to you or Dad, I want you to know who I am. Mom, I’m gay.” I broke down in tears.
Her immediate response was a warm embrace. “You are my son, and I love you unconditionally,” she assured me. In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and joy. The darkness of the closet faded, and life felt vibrant and full of possibilities.
Despite their acceptance, my parents faced their own challenges understanding my journey. They sought guidance to navigate their emotions and learn how to support me better. As a parent now, I find myself wanting nothing but the best for my child. I can’t imagine a parent not being there for their child or withholding love and support. Sadly, not every individual is fortunate enough to have accepting parents.
When our son, Leo, was born, we cradled him and shared our dreams for his future. We penned a heartfelt letter, which we’d like to share with the world:
Dear Leo,
You are just a few days old, and you are already surrounded by so much love! You were a cherished dream for both Dad and Papa, and we can hardly believe you’re finally here. Our love for you is boundless, and we promise to always be there for you.
We hope you grow up to be happy, courageous, and kind. Stand up for others, treat everyone with respect, and most importantly, be true to yourself. Whether you identify as gay, straight, or anything in between, we will support you wholeheartedly in whatever path you choose.
Dad and Papa will always be your biggest fans!
People often say Leo is lucky to have two loving parents, but the truth is, we feel incredibly fortunate to have him in our lives. Loving and supporting him comes naturally to us. We believe that our life experiences uniquely position us to raise Leo to be his authentic self.
I often wonder if our experiences as a same-sex couple make us more empathetic. Having spent our lives wanting to fit in, I feel confident that if Leo ever shares his identity with us—whether it be as gay, transgender, or even straight—we would embrace him with open arms. Unfortunately, many parents still struggle with acceptance.
Fortunately, there are numerous support groups and online resources available for those navigating similar experiences. If you know someone facing challenges with coming out or parents needing guidance, I encourage you to explore the following links: PFLAG USA, Advocates for Youth, PFLAG Canada, PFLAG Toronto, Family Services Ottawa, and Youthline.ca.
Ultimately, everyone deserves love and acceptance for who they are. Love is love.
In conclusion, the journey of parenting is deeply influenced by our experiences, and as a same-sex couple, we are committed to raising Leo in a way that fosters acceptance and love.