In the early days of our marriage, every evening was filled with passion and excitement. I often reminisce about those thrilling moments. We took our time, indulging in each other’s company without interruptions, delighting in every encounter. If one round didn’t satisfy us, we eagerly went for another, exploring different spots around the house — the kitchen counter, the couch, the bedroom, and sometimes even outside on the patio.
But then came the kids, and everything changed, especially during mealtime.
Before stepping into the world of parenthood, everyone cautions you about various challenges, yet no one warns you that enjoying a hot meal will become a distant memory for nearly a decade (optimistically, six years if you have just one child). You could spend hours crafting a gourmet meal or simply serve microwaved chicken nuggets and mac and cheese; either way, by the time you finally sit down to eat, your food will be cold and unappetizing.
First, you must serve everyone else. If you have more than a couple of kids, this task can take forever. Toddlers will insist on their special plate and utensils (“No! I want the blue plate!”), and there’s bound to be a debate over their drink choice (“I want juice. No, I want milk! In the dinosaur cup!”).
If your little ones are picky eaters, you’ll likely spend additional time removing unwanted bits of onion or carrot, or at least hiding them. As a responsible parent, you’ll also chop everything into tiny pieces to avoid choking hazards. Add a few more minutes if there’s meat involved, or if you’re a bit obsessive about uniformity in size (not that I’d know anything about that).
Then comes the comical irony; as you prepare to enjoy your meal, you’ll find yourself blowing on it until you’re almost breathless because it’s “too hot.”
As soon as you finally sit down, someone will inevitably spill their drink. What starts as a modest 4-ounce cup of juice will somehow transform into a massive puddle that takes ages and an entire roll of paper towels to clean up. And, of course, you’ll realize you forgot napkins—an essential mealtime item.
Someone will drop their spoon and need a new one because the dog decided to give it a good lick. But wait! All the clean spoons have vanished into the mysterious abyss where lost utensils go, so you’ll have to wash one or rinse off the slobber—or maybe just wipe it on your shirt (no judgment here).
There will be requests for salt and pepper, followed by complaints about too much of either. One child will insist you forgot the gummy vitamins, while another finishes their meal and cries for seconds, sending you back to the beginning of the serving process.
Dining out might seem like a solution to enjoy a hot meal, but even then, you’ll still face the same cutting and blowing challenges. Plus, you’ll shell out money for a kid’s meal, only to watch them eat two French fries and pick off the batter from their corn dog.
Eventually, your kids will grow older, and you might think that leisurely dinners will return. That is until evening sports practices, extracurricular activities, and friends popping by turn your meals into hurried moments where you’re downing food without even chewing it.
Sure, a relaxed dinner might be possible—just like winning the lottery or spontaneously combusting.
For now, my best advice? Invest in a good microwave; it will become your best friend. Add it to your baby registry, trust me. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out our blog at Intracervical Insemination.
Summary
Parenthood dramatically changes the dynamics of mealtime, making it a chaotic and often cold experience compared to the leisurely moments of early marriage. From the endless serving and cleaning to dealing with picky eaters and spills, enjoying a hot meal seems like a distant dream. However, as kids grow, the hope for relaxing dinners may resurface, albeit with new challenges. Investing in a reliable microwave can help parents navigate these busy mealtimes efficiently. For more insights into home insemination, visit Make A Mom and learn about great resources like Hopkins Medicine.