When I was nearing the arrival of my first child, my midwife, Sarah, sat me down for a heart-to-heart about the postpartum phase. “You know,” she said, “the first few weeks are all about resting, recovering from childbirth, and nursing your baby.” I nodded, thinking, “That’s not going to be me. I’ll be back to my routine in no time.”
Sarah, peering over her glasses, noticed my skepticism. “It’s not that you can’t get back on your feet; it’s that you really shouldn’t. It’s midwife’s orders.” I smiled and nodded once more, but didn’t quite grasp the weight of her advice. After a smooth delivery, I felt invigorated, and despite the exhausting challenges of breastfeeding, I tried to maintain my usual level of activity. After all, I had always thrived on being busy—why should motherhood be any different?
Ultimately, I learned the hard way that Sarah was right. I exhausted myself, dealt with prolonged postpartum bleeding, and experienced anxiety that took time to manage. When my second child arrived, I took her advice to heart. I insisted my partner take two weeks off (unpaid), and I focused solely on resting and breastfeeding. It was a transformative experience, leading to a healthier recovery both physically and mentally.
Reflecting on my different postpartum journeys, I often wonder why I dismissed my midwife’s wisdom the first time. The answer is multifaceted, but I believe it largely stems from America’s cultural expectations around motherhood and the glaring lack of support available to new moms.
During pregnancy, you receive attention and support through regular appointments and well-meaning visitors. However, once the baby arrives and you leave the hospital after just a few days, the focus shifts entirely to the newborn. As a result, many mothers feel overwhelmed and unprepared for the physical and emotional challenges that follow childbirth. It’s no surprise that postpartum mood disorders are on the rise.
We are failing our postpartum mothers in America, and it’s time for a change. In other countries, “mothering the mother” is prioritized, with cultural practices and governmental systems in place to support new mothers. Sadly, this is not the case in the United States.
Here are several urgent areas for improvement:
- Moms Need Free Postpartum Assistance: In many European nations, new mothers are entitled to complimentary help upon returning home from the hospital. This includes support with baby care and household tasks. Imagine the relief of having someone assist you during such a critical time.
- Access to Professional Breastfeeding Support: While lactation consultants are technically covered under the Affordable Care Act, many mothers still face hurdles in accessing this essential support. It’s crucial that breastfeeding help is readily available and covered by insurance without loopholes.
- Paid Maternity Leave Is Essential: The United States is lagging behind in offering paid maternity leave. No woman should have to worry about returning to work while recovering and caring for a newborn. This issue must be addressed now.
- Paternity Leave Matters: Fathers play a vital role in the postpartum period too. America’s lack of paid paternity leave affects families during this critical time. My husband’s absence after our first child was a financial strain that should not be normalized.
- The Bounce-Back Myth Needs to End: Studies show that recovery from childbirth can take up to a year! Yet, after a six-week check-up, the expectation is that mothers should be back to their pre-pregnancy selves. This unrealistic standard is damaging and needs to be challenged.
- Support for Postpartum Mood Disorders: While awareness is growing, screening for postpartum mood disorders is still not mandatory, and access to quality care remains a challenge. These disorders can have serious implications, and we must prioritize proper support and treatment.
America, it’s time to step up. We owe it to our mothers, our babies, and the next generation to create a system that truly supports postpartum well-being. Let’s work together to ensure mothers receive the care and respect they deserve. For more information on home insemination, you can check out this article or visit Making a Mom for additional resources. Moreover, Facts About Fertility offers excellent insights on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, we must advocate for systemic changes that support postpartum mothers, ensuring they receive the care and acknowledgment they deserve during a pivotal time in their lives.