I’m that mom. You know the type—the one who makes her kids cringe during morning drop-offs. But instead of the usual kissy goodbyes, I take a different approach. Each day, as they hop out of the car, I call out, “Be kind!”
When I pick them up in the afternoon, I ask, “Who did you show kindness to today?” Sometimes they take a moment to recall their acts, eventually sharing stories like, “I made Max laugh,” or “I helped Lucy pick up her books after she dropped them.” Other times, the responses are simpler, like, “I didn’t get in trouble for talking!”
After we’ve explored their kindness efforts, I’ll ask about their school day: “Did you have any homework?” “How did your math test go?” But honestly, these academic questions are secondary to me. What matters most is their kindness.
The negativity surrounding us is hard to ignore. News reports often provoke feelings of despair, and the comments sections online are rife with hostility. People are hurting, and the remedy? Kindness. It’s not just about avoiding negativity; it’s about actively embracing compassion.
Talking to our kids about kindness is important, but it’s equally crucial that we model it. Just the other day, while driving to dinner, another car cut in front of us. My partner, Mike, instinctively honked and swerved. I braced myself for confrontation. But then the other driver rolled down his window and genuinely apologized. Mike laughed and reassured him, “It’s all good.” This small interaction was a perfect teaching moment.
“What was that about?” one of my kids asked. “He was apologizing,” I explained. “Mistakes happen; you just say sorry and move on. If you can, laugh about it—be kind.”
Shouldn’t that be our goal for how we interact with others?
Of course, I don’t always live up to my own standards of kindness. I find myself yelling too often, feeling impatient, or forgetting important dates. Stress can make me irritable. This is why our family practices apologies and forgiveness regularly—it’s a vital part of our growth.
I aim to show my kids how to be kind, not just tell them. I compliment strangers in front of them, gently remind them that a driver who cut us off might just be having a bad day, and I emphasize the importance of grace. I want them to know that it’s okay to mess up, as long as they genuinely try to make amends. My goal isn’t just for them to avoid being unkind; I want them to grow into compassionate individuals.
While it may sometimes seem like anger and ignorance dominate parenting discussions, I believe most parents truly wish to raise kind-hearted children, even if they aren’t the top athletes or scholars. We often hear about parents complaining about teachers or boasting about “gifted” children. However, I think most of us just want to teach our kids the value of compassion over accolades.
I’ll continue to be that mom—the one who shouts “Be kind!” instead of “Have a great day!” The one who prioritizes kindness over math tests and spelling quizzes. I believe that kindness is what our world urgently needs right now.
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Summary:
In today’s world filled with negativity, fostering kindness in children is more essential than ever. By actively modeling compassionate behavior and prioritizing kindness in our daily interactions, we can help our kids grow into empathetic individuals. Instead of focusing solely on academic achievements, we should celebrate their acts of kindness, reinforcing the idea that compassion holds more value in our society than any score or accolade.