In a world filled with memes, one in particular resonates with many: a quote from actor Matthew McConaughey stating, “The best thing you can do as a father is ensure your children see how you love their mother.” As a father of three, I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment, especially because I grew up in a fractured family.
I vividly recall the day my father walked out on my mother. After discussing his infidelity, she sat in the family car, tears streaming down her face, while he hastily packed his belongings. The echoes of that moment still linger in my mind—the slamming of doors, her cries, and the eerie silence that followed his departure. I never want my children to experience that kind of heartache. I want them to feel secure in knowing that their father loves their mother wholeheartedly.
Reflecting on the past, I recognize a troubling trend that emerged in the ’80s—fathers leaving their families became more normalized. This has left many of us questioning how to be good husbands and fathers. Perhaps there are mothers who share this uncertainty as well.
What I do know is that how I treat my wife directly influences my children. They’re nine, seven, and two years old, and the older ones are perceptive to our interactions. While disagreements have become rare, they still disrupt our kids. During a conflict, I can see them watching us intently, searching for answers. Conversely, they also notice when we go on date nights. Their curiosity about our outings shows that they appreciate the bond we share.
To reinforce this love, I try to surprise my wife with flowers each month. I want my son to witness this act of affection because it’s something I never experienced with my own father. I hope to teach him the significance of treating a partner with love and respect, even after years of marriage. For my daughters, I want them to expect and appreciate such gestures, so they understand what a healthy relationship looks like.
Ultimately, love is an action. It’s not simply a feeling you have; it’s something you actively cultivate. Love manifests in countless ways: heartfelt texts, caring phone calls, warm embraces, and shared moments. It’s about stepping in to support your partner when they need a break or finding a compromise during disagreements. Demonstrating love in front of your children is crucial.
Each time I tell my son how much I love his mother, he rolls his eyes and says, “I know, Dad.” He’s so accustomed to it that it’s second nature to him. I find comfort in knowing he understands that we are a united front, providing him the security he needs. Coming from a broken home, I recognize the importance of this foundation.
If you neglect to show love for the mother of your children, what message are you sending? My father’s indifference taught me what not to do. It took me over a decade of marriage to understand the flaws in my parents’ relationship and how to avoid repeating them.
Fathers, I assure you that your marriage and family life will flourish when you express your love through your actions. It’s the essential maintenance of a healthy relationship that your children need to witness. If you want them to feel safe and secure in a loving environment, showing love is the best investment you can make.
For more insights into building loving relationships, you can check out this other blog post that dives deeper into the importance of connection. Additionally, for those looking into family planning and fertility, Make a Mom offers valuable resources, while the WHO provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Fathers play a crucial role in demonstrating love for mothers through their actions. By setting a positive example, fathers can provide their children with a secure foundation, illustrating what a loving relationship looks like. This not only strengthens the family bond but also equips children with the tools they need to foster healthy relationships in the future.