Attending a school concert is often one of the most nerve-wracking experiences for parents, ranking high on the anxiety scale. The buildup to the event can be so overwhelming that it might make you contemplate home-schooling instead.
For instance, my children, who are staunchly against wearing anything resembling formal attire, turn getting them into khakis and collared shirts into a Herculean task. As a result, they’re often the ones sporting the most questionable outfits at the event. Securing a decent seat is an adventure in itself, akin to the rush you’d see outside a tech store the night before a big product launch. After navigating the crowd and finally squeezing into a chair (usually near the back), I find myself engaged in obligatory chit-chat with other parents while sweating in my workout gear, all the while anxiously awaiting the moment I have to give my child “The Look.”
There are various milestones in parenthood, but few compare to the emotional rollercoaster of a school concert. Joy, anxiety, pride, and fear all blend into a chaotic mix that can leave you reeling. Here’s a glimpse into the whirlwind of thoughts that go through a parent’s mind during such an event:
When will this thing actually start?
After battling through a sea of parents for a good seat, we’ve been stuck on these metal chairs for what feels like forever. That’s a solid 20 minutes of polite smiles, cringing at small talk, and trying to remember the names of other parents — all while avoiding eye contact with the PTA volunteer who might be judging my level of involvement this year.
Is everyone else as anxious as I am?
Because I’m practically on edge. After years of my kids putting on a show of their own, I find myself not just nervous but legitimately terrified. Maybe this will be different…
Wait, he’s actually singing and behaving! Wonders never cease.
What is that stain on his shirt? Is that grease? Dirt? Oh, thank goodness, it’s just a wrinkle shadow because I forgot to iron his shirt! What kind of mom forgets to do that before a concert?
What in the world is he doing?
Is he picking his nose? Oh wait, he’s just scratching it. But what if everyone thinks he’s picking his nose?!
Did I leave the hair straightener on?
Oh no. I think I left the flat iron plugged in. And the stove! Great, and the fridge door is probably wide open too. Should I text the neighbor to check on our house?
When will this be over?
I have cookies to “bake” for tomorrow’s class party—by bake, I mean buy at the store. And those teacher gifts won’t wrap themselves. Plus, I have like five episodes of my favorite show to catch up on to understand why everyone was so emotional last week.
Hey, kiddo, put that iPad down!
Yes, you—yes, the one with the giant iPad capturing every cringe-worthy moment of your kid’s off-key performance—put it down before I take it away!
When did these kids grow up so fast?
Can’t believe he’s already in fifth grade. When did this happen? And, wow, when did I get so old?
Don’t cry.
Too late. Tears are flowing. Maybe no one will see me? Oh, never mind, everyone else is crying too.
Maybe I should have had a drink before coming.
And seriously, why don’t they serve wine at these events? That would be a popular fundraiser!
School concerts are definitely not for the faint-hearted.
Solidarity, fellow parents!
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In summary, school concerts bring a unique blend of excitement and trepidation for parents. From the chaos of seating arrangements to the emotional moments on stage, it’s a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that ultimately unite us in the shared experience of parenthood.