This holiday season, I’m skipping the sugarcoating and getting straight to the point about what I truly desire. Here’s my no-nonsense Christmas wish list:
1. Yoga Pants
First off, I could really use a fresh pair of yoga pants. As soon as I step through the door, my real clothes are off, and those pants take a beating while crawling around with my little ones.
2. A Quiet Car Ride
I’d love just one car ride without the relentless echoes of the Frozen soundtrack in the background. Is that too much to ask?
3. A Family Photo
How about one family photo where everyone is looking at the camera—no blurriness, no blinking? I want to frame that moment in our living room, showcasing a rare instance where my kids have clean faces and matching outfits.
4. New Earrings
I could use a new set of earrings, even if they only get worn on date nights. My baby seems to have a talent for tugging on them until my ears are sore.
5. A Day at the Spa
A day of pampering at a spa would be a dream come true. I want to feel like myself again instead of a frazzled mom with a messy bun and remnants of baby food in my hair.
6. A White Comforter
I’d also appreciate a new white comforter for our bedroom. Just one room in the house that feels a bit romantic would be nice.
7. Gift Cards and Shopping
Gift cards to my favorite stores along with a day of shopping without kids would be heavenly. Bonus points if I look fabulous in everything I try on!
8. Chocolate
A year’s supply of chocolate that I don’t have to share would definitely brighten my spirits.
9. Date Nights
Let’s plan and pay for some date nights so we can actually enjoy time together—not just end up dragging the kids along to fast food joints.
10. Massage Gift Card
I could really use a massage gift card. The last time I went, the masseuse suggested I make it a regular thing, and that was before I had kids!
11. New Perfume
New perfume sounds delightful—anything to mask the smell of baby poop and spit-up.
12. A New Vacuum
A new vacuum would help me tackle the mess my kids create on our carpets. Maybe I could even enjoy using it!
13. A Thoughtful Gift
I’d love a thoughtful gift from my husband that shows he put some effort into it—a reminder of why I fell in love with him in the first place.
14. Cleaning Service
Having a cleaning service come in to tidy up my house would be a dream. I prefer not to be there when they discover the hidden month-old food my toddler has stashed away.
15. Gym Membership
A gym membership would ease my guilt over indulging in that third cookie after the kids are asleep.
16. A Hassle-Free Date
Lastly, I’d appreciate a date where I don’t have to handle the restaurant reservations or babysitting arrangements.
If you manage to get me any of these items from my wish list, we might just have a conversation about a kiss under the mistletoe!
This article originally appeared on November 27, 2016.
Summary: This Christmas wish list from a mom humorously outlines her desires, prioritizing practical needs and self-care over sentimental gestures. From yoga pants and a spa day to a cleaning service and chocolate, it’s a relatable take on what many mothers secretly wish for during the holiday season.