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Even the Most Confident Women Experience Self-Doubt and Jealousy
When I was around 10, my brother made a splash on local television. Our family had attended a community gathering that garnered some media attention, and he ended up being featured in a news segment. As we all gathered around the TV that evening, everyone cheered and celebrated his moment in the spotlight—everyone, that is, except for me. I sulked in another room, feeling overshadowed.
Why was he in the limelight? Why couldn’t I be the one getting all the glory? Wasn’t I worthy of attention too?
Eventually, my parents found me and, after a brief moment of sympathy, told me to snap out of it and be proud of my brother. After all, we were family, and his success didn’t diminish my own worth.
I wish I could say that wise advice changed everything and that I never felt a twinge of jealousy again, but that wouldn’t be true. Just the other day, I spotted another mom at school wearing the trendiest leggings imaginable. I couldn’t help but admire her polished look while I was in my worn-out sweats and a messy bun. I even envied her confidence and figure.
Interestingly, as I’ve grown older, I’ve developed a more carefree attitude. I care less about fitting in with the so-called “cool crowd.” Most days, I feel comfortable in my own skin and might even declare myself a beautiful badass. But let’s be real; that doesn’t mean I’m immune to feelings of self-doubt and jealousy. Everyone experiences these emotions occasionally—yes, even those who seem to have it all together. Some simply manage them better than others.
I find myself in the “working on it” category. I’m learning to navigate the prickly feelings of envy, but it’s a work in progress. One key lesson I’ve picked up is that denying these feelings often makes them fester. Ignoring jealousy can lead to a mix of anger and shame. Acknowledging how I feel is the first step toward overcoming it.
A few months ago, I watched a video featuring comedian Mia Parker, who openly discussed feeling jealous of a friend who landed a job she wanted. It was refreshing to see that even successful individuals grapple with self-doubt and envy. It made me feel less guilty about my own jealous thoughts, whether they’re about that mom’s chic leggings or my neighbor’s seemingly perfect life.
But acknowledging envy is just the first step; acting on it is an entirely different matter. Parker advises that it’s essential to talk about your feelings without letting them dictate your actions. “I never dim someone else’s light to make mine shine brighter,” she said. In essence, don’t be a jerk.
As cliché as it sounds, practicing gratitude and kindness can significantly shift our moods. We’ve all heard the phrase “Count your blessings,” and while I’ve often wanted to retort with sarcasm, it’s genuinely good advice. When I take a moment to appreciate the positives in my life, like baking cookies for my family, it helps pull me out of my funk. Plus, who doesn’t love compliments for their delicious baking? And let’s be honest, cookie dough is basically a hug in edible form.
The great thing about confronting self-doubt and envy is that, once I sift through those uncomfortable feelings, I often uncover valuable lessons. Complimenting that stylish mom might lead me to her favorite leggings store, or reflecting on a colleague’s success could motivate me to improve my own game.
When all else fails, I give myself a little pep talk. It might sound sentimental, but we all have our unique qualities, and there’s plenty of goodness to share. As Parker aptly puts it, “There’s always a place for you because no one is exactly like you.”
So remember, you’re a beautiful badass, and don’t ever forget it!
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Summary
In conclusion, feelings of self-doubt and jealousy are universal, even among those who come across as confident and successful. Acknowledging these emotions is crucial for personal growth, and practicing gratitude and kindness can help mitigate their effects. Remember to uplift others while also recognizing your own worth, because everyone brings something unique to the table.