When my son was born, I found myself consumed by worries about his future. Like any parent, I stressed over whether he was eating and sleeping enough. But my anxiety took it a step further—I imagined where he would go to kindergarten in five years or how he would cope if I ended up in a nursing home without a sibling to support him. You know, the usual thoughts that plague a mom of a 6-week-old.
Ironically, I never anticipated that he might inherit my anxiety. But here we are. When he turned 3 and began struggling to fall asleep, or when at 4 he suddenly clung to me and refused to join his peers at kids’ church, I tried not to jump to conclusions. I assumed these were typical phases that all children go through.
However, by the time he was 6, he started avoiding places he once enjoyed and preferred staying home. Nightmares became so frequent that the thought of sleep terrified him. Six months ago, he began to overreact to minor setbacks, and just before the school year began, he developed a strong fear of scissors. That’s when I could no longer dismiss my concerns. A visit to our pediatrician confirmed my fears: he was dealing with anxiety.
What truly astonishes me is how closely his struggles mirror my own. I can relate to his feelings—he recently had a breakdown over wanting to skip a friend’s birthday party. It took me back to my own experience at 15, where indecision fueled by fear left me feeling miserable. I could see that same pain reflected in his eyes.
Recently, he’s started expressing some of my long-standing worries about death. These thoughts often arise at bedtime, just as he’s trying to fall asleep. If you’ve ever felt overwhelming fears at night, I empathize with you—and so does my son.
Just last night, he had another meltdown about saying goodnight to me. I was busy with an online class while his dad was putting him to bed. My son wanted to say goodnight, but his dad, unaware of what he was up to, told him I was too busy. Once that idea settled in, no amount of reassurance could convince him otherwise. He cried until his dad distracted him with a bedtime story.
Later, when I learned what had transpired, I peeked into his room to find him already asleep. Watching him, it struck me just how much he might wrestle with this throughout his life. I shed a few tears—okay, a lot of tears.
But unlike him, I’ve had the benefit of time and learned coping mechanisms. I’ve trained myself to challenge my anxious thoughts. Instead of dwelling on the anxiety he may have inherited from me, I began to focus on the positives of our situation, and to my surprise, I came up with a solid list.
Finding Positives in Our Shared Experience
First, our shared experiences create a unique bond between us. I understand his thought processes in a way that no one else can. As he grows, I hope he’ll reciprocate that understanding.
Second, I can advocate for him in ways that I never experienced. My mother didn’t realize I struggled with anxiety until I faced serious postpartum anxiety. Thankfully, I can recognize my son’s needs and seek help for him while he’s still young.
Third, we frequently discuss our anxieties with each other, family, and his therapist. This open dialogue not only helps normalize what is often stigmatized but also makes me more aware of my own mental processes. I hope he won’t carry the same embarrassment I sometimes feel.
Lastly, he’s inherited more than just anxious thoughts from me. He’s also an intelligent, creative, and empathetic child. Reflecting on the joy I find in my life, anxiety included, gives me hope that he will discover the same.
While I can’t eliminate his anxiety, I can support him through it. In the end, that’s enough for me—even when my mind tries to convince me otherwise. Shut up, brain. We’ve got this!
For more insights on coping with anxiety and family dynamics, check out our other articles, and don’t forget to visit this excellent resource for more information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, a mother shares her journey of understanding her son’s anxiety through the lens of her own experiences. She highlights the bond they share, her dedication to advocating for him, and the importance of open communication about mental health. While acknowledging their struggles, she also emphasizes the joy and love they both experience in life.