When I faced the overwhelming challenges of severe postpartum depression and anxiety, my mind spiraled in ways I couldn’t control. I found myself consumed with irrational fears—like worrying my baby might get seriously hurt or that my vehicle would crash. Thoughts about the safety of my children during a potential disaster plagued me, alongside the anxiety that I was failing as a mother and could be negatively impacting my kids.
My partner, Chris, was my rock during this time. He guided me to a psychiatrist, who prescribed the necessary medication that helped me manage my condition. He also ensured I had a restful space to recover and provided nourishing meals. Most importantly, he took care of the kids whenever possible. However, one thing he wisely avoided was telling me to “get over it.”
The same pattern emerged when I opened up about the childhood abuse I endured. Sharing how those experiences shaped my life almost three decades later was painful. It stings to reflect on the past, and while it may seem like a long time ago, the scars remain. There’s a temptation for others to suggest I should “just get over it.” But such words are utterly unhelpful.
Disappointments, big or small, evoke similar feelings. Whether I’m upset about my child having a meltdown in a store or getting declined at my favorite fast-food restaurant, a simple “get over it” doesn’t ease my emotions. Instead, it frustrates me even more.
The truth is, no one has the right to dictate how another person should feel. Emotions aren’t controllable switches you can flick on or off at will. If it were that easy, believe me, anyone would prefer to avoid dwelling in sadness, anger, or grief. The key to processing emotions is to allow them to flow and eventually fade away.
Telling someone to “get over it” undermines the complexity of human emotions. It implies that struggling with feelings is a sign of weakness, which is not true. There’s nothing feeble about experiencing emotions. Such a suggestion is not only insensitive but can also come across as invalidating. When someone hears “get over it,” it can feel like their feelings are dismissed, as if their pain isn’t worth acknowledging.
Additionally, being told to move on can make a person feel unheard, as if their concerns and pain are being brushed aside. If you truly listened, you’d recognize that they can’t just switch off their feelings. You’d respond with empathy, saying things like, “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way” or “I wish you were feeling differently.” Acknowledging their struggle is far more supportive than a callous dismissal.
Moreover, telling someone to “get over it” communicates that their feelings are a burden to you. No one likes feeling like a nuisance; it can diminish their sense of worth. This behavior shifts the focus from the person in pain to your own discomfort, placing your feelings above theirs.
When someone is hurting, it’s essential to put their emotions front and center, not trivialize them. No one deserves to feel belittled, regardless of how inconvenient their feelings may seem to you.
You cannot simply instruct someone to “get over it”—not in the context of mental health struggles, grief over a pet, a challenging day, or even the fallout from an election. It’s minimizing, rude, and lacking in compassion. Most importantly, telling someone to just “get over it” reflects poorly on you, making you come across as insensitive and dismissive.
If you’re at a loss for what to say, consider offering genuine support. Phrases like “I’m really sorry to hear that” or “I hope things get better” resonate more positively. For more insights on emotional support, check out this resource on home insemination and emotional well-being.
In summary, the takeaway is clear: instead of minimizing someone’s feelings with “get over it,” strive to provide understanding and compassion. Everyone deserves to have their emotions recognized and validated, no matter how inconvenient they may seem.