It all began with what seemed like a harmless comment. You stumbled upon one of my photos online — I was sporting vibrant red lipstick, a snug catsuit, and a sequined vest — and felt the urge to respond. With a click of your keyboard, you posted a “joke” that you likely thought was funny: “Wow, that girl needs a sandwich!!!”
So clever and unique, right? Clearly, the “skinny girl” must be starving and in dire need of a hearty meal. But let me tell you, this isn’t the first time I’ve encountered such remarks. At 5 feet tall and 105 pounds, comments about my appearance have been a regular occurrence, but this was the first time a stranger decided to critique my body online. I’m a writer, and your comment was just one of many on a piece focused on mental health.
I attempted to brush it off and move on. But here’s what I want you to know, commenter: I couldn’t shake it. Your words lingered, bothering me deeply. Why? Because, in some twisted way, you were right. I needed to eat; I was feeling weak, lightheaded, and nauseous. The truth is, I was starving, but my body just wouldn’t cooperate. I couldn’t even manage a piece of dry toast. You had no idea what was happening behind the scenes when you shared that joke, so let me introduce myself.
First off, “that girl” has a name: Jamie. Jamie is a wife, a mother, a writer, and a passionate advocate for mental health. You might have known that if you had taken the time to read my article. Or perhaps you simply didn’t care.
You probably also don’t realize that “that girl” has a complex history. She has battled an eating disorder and continues to face it daily. Even after seven years of what was supposed to be recovery, “that girl” still struggles with body image. She sees thick thighs in the mirror, while you see thin ones. She picks apart every little flaw: her uneven shoulders, slightly crossed eyes, and a backside she deems too flat and too large. Where you see bones, “that girl” sees imperfections and failures.
So “that girl” exercises obsessively. She runs 5 miles a day, five days a week, striving to maintain her sanity and slenderness. She runs because she loves it, but also because her mind insists she must. She counts more than just calories; she tracks sit-ups, steps, push-ups, and lunges, all to justify that iced coffee with skim milk. And even then, she questions if she can share a cookie with her daughter.
Just that morning before your comment, “that girl” stepped on the scale for the first time in a year and found a number that terrified her. She stood in a hot shower, pulling at her stomach skin, desperately hoping the heat would help her shed those unwanted pounds. Your comment added to the relentless pressure: eat less, exercise more, and definitely don’t even think about indulging in that sandwich.
While you may have thought your comment was harmless, it cut deeper than you know. “That girl” didn’t feel flattered; she felt judged. Once again, her body became the subject of someone else’s scrutiny. So please, think before you joke, think before you speak, and think before you type because every article has a person behind it — a human being with their own struggles and stories.
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Summary
Words have power, and thoughtless comments can deeply affect others. It’s essential to remember that behind every online persona is a real person with their own challenges. When engaging with others, think carefully about your words and how they might impact someone else’s journey.