I’ve spent what feels like an eternity lying next to my restless child in a dimly lit room, hoping against hope that sleep will finally take over. On those tough nights, I’ve been known to sneak in some screen time under the covers, praying my little one doesn’t catch me scrolling through social media when they should be winding down.
But there are also nights when that time is pure magic. As my kids transition from wakefulness to slumber, I find moments of closeness that remind me of the beautiful side of parenting I envisioned before the reality of early mornings and endless tasks set in. It’s in those quiet moments that they snuggle up, and I catch a whiff of their sweet hair or feel the warmth of their cheeks against my skin. It’s utterly heartwarming, and I often find myself overwhelmed with gratitude.
I know the conventional wisdom: lying down with your kids until they drift off is often labeled as a bad habit. Many experts say it’s something you should break early on. But what if you don’t? If you rock or nurse your baby to sleep, could that evolve into simply holding hands or giving a gentle back rub as they grow? And what if, despite their age, they still request your presence to feel secure?
You might wonder: How will they ever learn to self-soothe? Will they struggle to fall asleep without you? The truth is that research shows securely attached children tend to be more independent. It makes sense—providing your child with a sense of security fosters confidence and resilience as they navigate the world.
I’m not suggesting that every family needs to adopt this bedtime routine. There are countless ways to nurture secure children, and lying down with them isn’t a requirement. However, if this practice works for your family, there’s no reason to stop. Allowing your kids that extra comfort doesn’t mean they won’t adapt or learn to sleep independently.
I lie down with my kids because they ask for it, and it’s a tradition we’ve upheld. Even though I sometimes resent those extra minutes, I recognize that they mean everything to my kids. With busy schedules filled with school, work, and activities, those serene moments before sleep are rare, yet precious.
Honestly, I don’t enjoy falling asleep alone either. Even at my age, I find it challenging to drift off without my partner nearby. I believe my kids, at ages 4 and 9, deserve the comfort that even adults seek. There have been nights when my older child didn’t need me, even pushing me out of his room to sleep independently. Yet, I’m there on the nights he feels anxious or restless, understanding that these moments are fleeting.
Boys, in particular, are often taught to suppress their emotions. I think this mindset can be harmful, so I’m here to offer them the comfort they need. Yes, there are times when I’d rather be anywhere else than lying in the dark, feeling tired and frustrated. However, I recognize that those minutes of connection as they drift off are invaluable for both of us, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
In summary, sharing bedtime with your kids may not be a bad habit. It can be a vital part of nurturing their emotional health and independence. These moments of closeness provide security, allowing them to grow into confident individuals.
For anyone interested in parenting insights or more about home insemination, check out this resource and explore this authority on the topic—it’s invaluable. Additionally, the Genetics and IVF Institute offers fantastic information.