I have to admit, my feelings about birthday party goody bags are a total mixed bag. I really don’t want my kids to leave a friend’s party expecting a little gift at the end. They’re there to celebrate, not to collect prizes.
As a mom who’s not exactly crafty or Pinterest-savvy, the thought of creating goody bags often keeps me up at night. I admire those creative moms who enjoy this, but for the rest of us, it can feel like a daunting task. Why should I stress over decorating Skylanders yo-yos for my kid’s party? It just causes more anxiety than it’s worth.
And let’s talk about the contents of those goody bags. More often than not, they’re filled with junk—cheap toys, potential choking hazards, and items the kids will forget the moment they leave the party. Those bags rarely make it to my child’s room; they usually end up scattered across the car floor or my kitchen counter.
So it’s no surprise that I’m not a fan of goody bags. However, I do want my kids to be happy, and I love organizing fun parties for them and their friends. So, if it means including a goody bag, I’ll happily oblige—especially if someone else handles it for me.
This past weekend, we celebrated my daughter’s 6th birthday at a play space that took care of everything, including the goody bags. I just needed to provide the theme and the number of kids attending. Easy peasy!
The party was mostly for girls, with my 9-year-old son and a couple of his friends in attendance. When I mentioned the head count to the manager, she assured me that they would make separate bags for the boys. On the day of the party, one of the moms asked if her 9-year-old daughter could come along. I said okay but warned her there might not be a goody bag for her since I had already provided the count. She was totally fine with it.
However, when the party day arrived, a few kids fell sick, and we ended up with an extra goody bag for my friend’s daughter. I thought she’d be thrilled, but instead, she burst into tears. “I want what’s in the boys’ bag! Mine is different!” It seemed a little absurd, considering it was her younger sister’s party, but I calmly explained that the boys’ bags had been prepared in advance. Unfortunately, her tears turned into a full-blown tantrum, only calming down when her younger sister stated she didn’t even want a goody bag because she didn’t like the contents.
At that moment, I thought to myself, “Forget goody bags!” Seriously, what’s the point? The issue isn’t whether I make the bags or someone else does; it’s the expectation that comes with them. I’m done with plastic toys, themed pencils, and sticker sets that will be lost before we even get home. I’m also over the meltdowns and entitlement surrounding these little treats.
So, I’ve made the decision: no more goody bags. Sure, some kids might be disappointed at my children’s next birthday bash, but that will give them something new to whine about—and frankly, I’m okay with that.
And to the child who had a meltdown over the goody bag, the appropriate response should simply be, “Thank you!” When someone gives you a gift for attending a party, that should be the expected reaction.
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In summary, I’m done with goody bags at birthday parties. The expectation they create often leads to disappointment and tantrums, which is not what we want during a celebration. Instead, let’s focus on the fun of being together and celebrating our children.