As the holiday season rolls around, it often feels like a time when traditional gender roles rear their heads in my home. Between September and October, I was already juggling a packed schedule: managing childcare, preparing meals, and trying to keep my job secure while our child needed braces. To top it off, my babysitter decided to leave in mid-November, adding “find a new caregiver” to my already overwhelming list.
Then the holidays hit. Suddenly, I’m faced with the task of buying and wrapping gifts, attending parties, syncing calendars, and ensuring one child has new tights while the other looks sharp for their recital.
So, how many of these responsibilities has my partner considered? Let’s just say it’s a big, fat zero.
These gifts we’re supposed to buy — even though I’ve vowed to cut back on materialism in light of the chaotic world we’re living in — aren’t just for our kids, grandparents, or friends. The ones that really stress me out are those obligatory gifts that seem to pop up everywhere. You know, the ones for teachers, the piano instructor, the dry cleaner, and the friendly guy at the gym who lets me in when I forget my card. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about gifting to anyone who maintains my yard or building, so at least there’s that small relief.
Even if I decide to skip some of these giving opportunities — because my emotional and financial resources are dwindling — I’ve already spent a considerable amount of time stressing over where to draw the line on holiday gifting.
How much time have the men in my life spent fretting over dilemmas like what to get our kids’ piano teacher (who has been with us for nearly a year) versus the karate instructor (who we just started with)? Guess what? If you hold up your hand, you’ll find it represents zero.
While we didn’t have to send out holiday cards this year, I enjoy picking out the perfect pictures and finding a template that respects my partner’s background while still being true to our family. I love looking back at our cards through the years, so skipping a year isn’t an option.
But the real panic sets in when the box of cards arrives. I can never find stamps, and I don’t have everyone’s addresses. I’m not tech-savvy enough to handle “mail merge” or maintain an Excel sheet. Instead, I dig out our wedding guest list and start writing cards, knowing that many recipients have moved since then. And forget about fancy holiday stamps — my cards will go out with whatever I have on hand.
Amidst the cookie parties and the work holiday celebrations, I also have to deal with invitations to bake cookies. The thought of making a dozen homemade treats makes me want to curl up and hide. I don’t have a go-to cookie recipe; my signature dessert is ice cream, which I keep tucked away in the freezer.
How many cookie parties has my partner been invited to? You guessed it — zero.
He’s also conveniently avoiding the special chaos of cookie-decorating parties, where I witness my children’s frustration as their dough doesn’t cooperate, all while trying to engage in small talk with other weary moms. It’s as if society insists on these gatherings that do nothing but sugar up our kids and leave us all craving strong cocktails.
My partner often wonders why I’m exhausted and have a headache that just won’t quit. He chuckles when I mention that January is my favorite month because it means I survived the holiday madness, even though January 2023 will bring its own brand of challenges. To him, December just seems like a month with a few extra tasks. When I try to explain, I simply hold up my hand, making a circle with my fingers, and whisper, “zero.”
If you want more insight into navigating these challenges, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. And speaking of home insemination, if you’re looking for quality products, you can find a great selection here.
Summary
The holiday season can feel overwhelming, especially for women who often bear the brunt of planning and gift-giving responsibilities. Despite efforts to cut back on the materialism of the season, the pressure to participate in holiday traditions can lead to stress and exhaustion, particularly when partners aren’t equally involved.