To truly understand what it means to be married or in a long-term partnership, it’s essential to set aside any idealistic notions from romantic films. You’re committing to someone who will see all your imperfections—and who might remind you of them from time to time.
Take my partner, for example. Instead of expressing love through flowers or jewelry, he shows his affection by whipping up culinary masterpieces every Sunday night. Whether it’s hearty chili verde, smoked ribs, or a comforting French onion soup, his cooking ritual starts early in the day, and by the time dinner rolls around, every bite is infused with his love.
Through my journey in marriage, I’ve discovered a few enlightening truths:
Marriage is Endurance
Marriage is enduring a documentary about gold mining, even if you’d rather not be there. It’s about that gentle nudge to get up and exercise when you’d prefer a donut. Sometimes, it means sneaking a cheeky gesture behind someone’s back when they’re not looking. It’s quoting Monty Python at just the right moment—despite having never seen a single episode.
Shared Experiences
Marriage involves trying to keep the conversation away from kids while out on a date but failing spectacularly. It’s recalling how you met, and sharing that story—often in a hilariously skewed manner—during dinner parties. It’s the joy of playfully scaring your partner just for fun. It’s having that perfect co-conspirator in social settings who knows exactly when to roll their eyes at the same thing you find ridiculous.
Cuddling and Comfort
Cuddling can turn into a battle against the warmth as you both stubbornly stay close, and it’s about biting your tongue when you desperately want to say, “I told you so.” It’s the comfort of making chicken soup together, walking hand-in-hand down unfamiliar streets in the rain, and finding the coziest pub to escape the storm.
Learning and Growing
Marriage is about being wrong often and having someone there to point it out. It’s those little annoyances, like forgetting to grab the butter from the fridge. It can mean having late-night discussions about taxes or being up together at odd hours due to restless kids or snoring partners.
Simple Joys
And then there are those rare nights when the kids are at their grandparents’, and instead of a wild night out, you find yourselves ordering burritos, watching Netflix, and drifting off on the couch—content in the simplicity of it all.
It’s those moments when you might say something hurtful and immediately wish you could take it back. It’s the anticipation of a future together—gray hair, wrinkled skin, and maybe even velour tracksuits that would shock your grandchildren.
Unshakeable Belief
Ultimately, marriage is about having an unshakeable belief in each other, even when you’ve witnessed each other at your most vulnerable. It’s about releasing any preconceived notions of what a marriage should look like. It’s messy, imperfect, and occasionally awkward, but it also guarantees that someone will always laugh at your jokes and help you reach that spot on your back that’s just out of reach.
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Summary:
Marriage is a blend of love, imperfections, and shared experiences. It’s about finding joy in the mundane, supporting each other through life’s ups and downs, and embracing the journey together.