An Open Letter to Everyone Encouraging Me to Expand My Family

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Dear Family, Friends, Acquaintances, and All Well-Meaning Advisers,

I appreciate your concern about my family planning, but I want to clarify that I have no plans to welcome a second child. My decision isn’t based on a traumatic birth experience, financial struggles, or any life-altering circumstances. Simply put, I’m content with my one child.

You may think I’m being selfish for wanting to focus on my single child. But let’s redefine what selfishness means. I dedicate long hours at work to support my family, commute extensively, and still find time to enjoy moments with my son. Is it selfish to desire a hot meal that isn’t scavenged from my child’s leftovers? Or to have a few hours a week to unwind at the gym, catch up with friends, or even get a rare haircut? I believe I can achieve a fulfilling life with just one child.

You worry that my son might miss out on having a playmate. But siblings can have vastly different interests—one might be all about cars while the other is into arts and crafts. Instead of relying on a hypothetical sibling to entertain him, I want to engage with my son during these precious years when he actually wants to be around me. I cherish our playtime together; it brings joy and meaning to my life.

You might ponder, “What happens when you’re gone?” Yes, it might seem selfish to not have a second child for the sake of future funeral arrangements. However, I have every opportunity to teach my son the importance of relationships and community. I’m committed to ensuring he builds friendships and learns to nurture them. If it brings you comfort, I can even look into life insurance options, which is probably more economical than raising another child.

You mention the cuteness factor. Of course, my son is adorable—a little angel in his everyday attire. But I’m not willing to gamble on the potential of a second child when I already have such a delightful one.

And let’s talk about the idea of having a daughter. I know what it’s like to be a girl; I was one myself, and frankly, I’m quite tired of that narrative. I already have a sister who fills that familial role, and I don’t feel the need to replicate it.

As for concerns about spoiling my son, I hope he is a little spoiled. With two children, the chances of that diminishes as I’ll be too preoccupied with managing sibling squabbles and saving for college funds. My focus will remain on parenting my son, teaching him boundaries, encouraging positive behavior, and preparing him for adulthood.

Ultimately, having one child fits our family’s lifestyle and values. I appreciate your thoughts, but my heart is set on cherishing and nurturing my one amazing boy, raising him in a way that feels right for us.

Sending love and hugs,
Megan

P.S. Please refrain from using the phrase “one and done”—it’s a bit cringeworthy.

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Summary:

In this open letter, the author addresses various individuals urging her to have a second child. She emphasizes her contentment with raising her one child, explaining her reasons for choosing not to expand her family. The letter reflects her commitment to parenting and her belief in the joys of focusing on one child.