We often tell our children, “You can be anything you want to be.” It’s a powerful message that instills hope for the future. However, there’s another phrase that deserves just as much attention: “Life can throw curveballs.”
That’s exactly what happened to me. Becoming a mom was never part of my childhood dreams. I didn’t fantasize about parenting when I was young, nor did I anticipate the prospect of raising a child after getting married. The thought of having kids and being responsible for another human being for life was not enticing.
But then life happened.
Despite being on birth control, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. My world flipped upside down. Just as my husband and I were figuring out a new method of contraception after our daughter’s birth, I discovered I was pregnant again—this time with my son. The two are just 355 days apart.
But amidst the chaos, something incredible unfolded. Once my little ones arrived, I experienced a revelation: I was a pretty fantastic mom. This realization had nothing to do with innate maternal instincts; it stemmed from my commitment to be present and engaged every day. Sure, some days are more challenging than others, and I make my fair share of mistakes, but that doesn’t define my worth as a mother. If you are putting in the effort and showering your children with love, you’re doing a great job.
There are plenty of examples of poor parenting out there—ones we often hear about on the news. Being a good mom is a conscious choice, and I could have easily chosen to be a disengaged parent since this journey was never on my radar. I could have thought, “Life has dealt me a rough hand, so why bother?”
Some of us may have faced unexpected pregnancy, came from unstable homes, endured neglect or abuse, or found ourselves in unhealthy relationships. Despite these challenges, we choose to embrace motherhood. We can seek support, whether it be through therapy, parenting classes, or simply leaning on friends and mentors. Just because life doesn’t go as planned doesn’t mean we will fail as parents.
My daughter and son were entrusted to me, and I made a promise to give them my best, even if it wasn’t a role I envisioned for myself. I’ve taught them to walk and talk, comforted them when they’re sick, and celebrated their victories, no matter how small. I strive to provide a safe home and nutritious meals—though sometimes those meals end up on the floor!
I actively engage with them, listen to their stories, and encourage them to be kind and respectful. I’m raising two remarkable individuals despite my initial reluctance. Through perseverance and a willingness to ask for help, I’ve realized that I am indeed succeeding in this role. I’ve grown to cherish the job of being their mom.
It’s undeniable that life surprises us, but we get to choose how we respond. We can either wallow in our circumstances or, as the saying goes, bloom where we are planted. We can make the most of situations, even when they don’t align with our initial plans.
I want my children to know they can achieve anything they dream of, but I also want them to understand that life can take unexpected turns. In those moments, we have the choice to either give up or roll up our sleeves and tackle the challenges head-on. It’s in these “life happens” instances that we discover our strength and realize what kind of parents we can become.
For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out this resource on intrauterine insemination. And if you’re curious about fertility options, this fertility booster for men is worth a look. As I share my journey, I encourage others to explore additional perspectives on parenthood, such as those found in our post on home insemination.
In summary, my experience as a mother, despite never having desired this role, has turned out to be one of growth, love, and resilience. Life may not always follow our plans, but how we choose to respond shapes our journey.