Dec. 28, 2023
Recently, I witnessed a truck run a red light. Thankfully, the intersection was clear, and no one was harmed, but it was a jarring moment. The driver, clearly caught off guard, seemed to have an “oh no, I just did that” realization as he sailed through the stop. He wasn’t speeding, and the out-of-state plates suggested he was probably just distracted.
In stark contrast, the woman in the car ahead of mine looked ready to explode. She threw her hands up in frustration, practically leaning out of her window to yell at the truck, even as it disappeared from view. As we waited at the light, her tirade continued. I couldn’t help but wonder about her day-to-day demeanor. Is she perpetually this irritable?
Yes, the truck ran a red light, and it could have ended differently if someone else had been approaching. But the truth is, mistakes happen—accidents are, by definition, unintentional. Rarely does someone think, “I’m going to do something reckless that will upset a bunch of strangers!”
That woman’s reaction got me reflecting on the rudeness and impatience I observe regularly. As a writer, I share my parenting missteps in hopes of connecting with others—so they feel seen or even learn something. Yet for every empathetic response, there’s often a critical one: “This was a waste of my time” or “You clearly shouldn’t be a parent.”
I notice it when shoppers at the grocery store sigh dramatically as a cashier takes a moment too long. I see it when a server is scolded over a minor kitchen error, or when impatient drivers tailgate slower vehicles. What does this accomplish? Absolutely nothing. Getting angry won’t change the situation—it won’t magically remove the pickles from your sandwich or quicken a slow line. It only spreads negativity, ruining moments for everyone involved. Why squander our limited time feeling irritable over things we can’t control?
I’m not suggesting I’m immune to frustration. I don’t float through life on a cloud of positivity. But when I feel my patience wearing thin, I consciously choose to practice empathy. I try to see things from the perspective of the person who’s bothering me. It’s not always easy, but it’s essential.
Let’s give each other a break. We’re all human—whether it’s you, me, our doctors, or the cashier. Everyone has off days, and while their struggles might inconvenience us, remember: you’ve been in their shoes before, and you will be again. When you find yourself making an error, would you prefer compassion or anger directed at you?
Since my children were young, I’ve taught them to take a moment before reacting and to consider three words: “help or hurt?” Will their response improve the situation or just hurt feelings? If it won’t help, like Princess Elsa says, let it go. The world needs more kindness. As the old saying goes, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
And if you disagree with my take here and think it’s the “worst article ever,” that’s perfectly okay. You’re entitled to your opinion. Just keep it to yourself and keep scrolling.
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Summary:
In a world where impatience and negativity often prevail, it’s essential to practice empathy and understanding in our daily interactions. Mistakes happen, and everyone has off days. By choosing compassion over frustration, we can foster a more positive environment for ourselves and those around us. Embracing the principle of “help or hurt” can guide us in responding to others in a way that uplifts rather than diminishes.