Why Do We Hesitate to Acknowledge Our Children’s Struggles?

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As parents, we often believe our child is the most delightful little person in existence. Oddly enough, it seems every parent shares that sentiment. Once your baby flips over for the first time, it sparks a whirlwind of thoughts about how their life will unfold—maybe they’re destined to be a prodigy or a future genius.

However, that initial excitement can fade. As our children grow, we may find ourselves questioning their abilities. For instance, a concerned father on a parenting forum recently shared his experience:

“I don’t genuinely think my daughter is lacking intelligence, but does anyone else have a child who struggles academically? She’s 6, sweet as pie, but doesn’t seem to put effort into her schoolwork.”

Despite their best efforts to support her reading and spelling, the father notes her scores never exceed 80 percent, and she often struggles even with familiar words. He’s understandably worried, especially since budget constraints make tutoring a challenge.

I can relate deeply to his concerns. I once thought my daughter, who is undeniably bright and beautiful, would glide through life with a blend of charm and smarts. But entering school can be an eye-opener. Kids in kindergarten display a wide range of abilities—from those who can’t recognize letters to those reading fluently. You quickly realize that your child is not the only one who might need a little extra help.

Even if your child excels, there’s often an unspoken fear that lingers. Some parents might worry about their child’s appearance or athletic skills, while I find myself anxious about my daughter’s social interactions. Her emotional sensitivity is a trait I cherish, yet I can’t help but fret about how she will fare in the competitive environment of middle school.

It’s refreshing when parents like this dad express their worries openly. I think many of us hesitate to do so, fearing that admitting our child’s challenges might come across as being overly critical. We live in a world where parenting can feel like a competition, where accolades seem to be reserved for those whose children dominate in academics or sports. Acknowledging our concerns can feel like surrendering.

The reality is, struggling is a part of growing up. Both adults and children face hurdles, and recognizing when a child needs help can pave the way for support and improvement.

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In summary, it’s crucial to be honest about our children’s struggles. This openness not only helps us seek the necessary support but also fosters a more understanding and compassionate parenting community.