By: Kamila Jones
As a parent, I’ve always found it perplexing when I hear other parents urging their children to remain virgins until marriage. First and foremost, it’s crucial to recognize that we don’t possess our children’s bodies; their decisions regarding their virginity are theirs alone. Attempting to impose such beliefs is not only unrealistic, but it can also lead to feelings of shame and secrecy. If children decide to engage in premarital sex, they should feel free to explore that choice openly with their parents.
Sex is a natural aspect of life, and demanding that kids conform to our personal views on their sexuality seems quite selfish. In situations like these, whose interests are truly being served? Moreover, promoting abstinence often closes off vital lines of communication. Teens will likely make their own choices about their bodies regardless; they just might not feel comfortable discussing it with us. Personally, I value honest conversations over ineffective control.
It can also feel hypocritical. Many parents had their share of sexual experiences before tying the knot, so why impose restrictions on our kids? If you genuinely waited until marriage, sharing your reasons can be valuable, but expecting them to follow your path is unreasonable.
I vaguely recall a moment in my teenage years when I told my father I would wait until marriage. He acknowledged my decision but didn’t press it. However, as I grew older, I realized my choice stemmed from infatuation rather than genuine belief. By the time I was 20, I lost my virginity, and though I liked the guy, I wasn’t in love.
When I became pregnant, I was in a committed relationship but not engaged or married. My upbringing, which never pressured me to abstain, led me to delve into the “wait until marriage” ideology. Unsurprisingly, much of the information I found was rooted in religious beliefs. Aleteia.org, a Christian site, suggested reasons like improved communication in dating and better relationships with parents, but these assertions seemed flawed. It implies that sex strips away virtues, leaving one unable to communicate effectively.
Currently, my son is just three, so sex discussions are not on the horizon yet. However, I know that time will fly, and I want him to view sex as a normal, healthy part of life. It’s astonishing that sex remains a taboo topic in society. According to Advocates for Youth, around 70% of young people will have sex by 19. While I’m not promoting teenage sex, we must allow space for open discussions so we can offer the best support.
It’s essential for me to communicate to my son that I support him while encouraging thoughtful consideration of what sex means. I want him to feel comfortable approaching me with questions so we can engage in mature conversations about safety, consent, and responsible decision-making.
Research indicates that about 95% of individuals have sex before marriage, especially as marriage ages rise. It’s unrealistic to expect our children to wait until their 30s. As a parent, my priority is to educate my son about safe practices and consent. Ultimately, he must decide when he’s ready. By forbidding sex or insisting on waiting, we inadvertently create an aura of mystery and taboo, making it all the more tempting.
I strive to foster an environment where my child feels safe discussing concerns. Like all parents, I aim to provide him with accurate and supportive answers to his questions. For more information on topics related to pregnancy and home insemination, visit this resource, or check out this insightful article related to our blog. If you’re considering options for conception, this authority can be a valuable resource.
In summary, it’s vital to approach our children’s understanding of sex with openness, promoting safety and communication rather than imposing outdated notions of abstinence.