Menu: Is It Midnight Yet?
The Unvarnished Truth About New Year’s Eve With Kids
It’s a whole different ball game, honestly. by Lisa Harper
Updated: Dec. 26, 2023
Originally Published: Dec. 31, 2016
Ah, New Year’s Eve! It once held the title of my favorite night of the year. Spoiler alert: that was before I had two little ones. Now, I find myself dreading it in secret — especially the classic party-all-night version we used to enjoy. Here’s what New Year’s Eve looks like with kids…
Finding a Babysitter
Unless you reserved one back in July, good luck finding anyone to watch your kids. You might have better luck persuading a celebrity like Oprah to step in. And if you do find someone, they’ll likely charge you an arm and a leg once they sense your desperation.
Deciding on an Outfit
You’ll rummage through your closet, debating if that festive sequined top can be paired with yoga pants. Because no one will notice they’re yoga pants, right? Wrong.
Exhaustion by 9 PM
You’ll be completely drained by 9 PM, yet you know you have to stay awake for at least three more hours while pretending to be lively and engaged. Keeping up this façade is far more tiring than giving birth.
The Resolution Interrogation
You’ll be bombarded with questions about your New Year’s resolutions while secretly contemplating if “survival” is the only goal worth mentioning. Our unspoken resolutions typically include:
- shedding the baby weight from over a decade ago;
- being nicer to my partner, at least until lunchtime;
- getting my life organized — a polite way of saying, “I need to get my act together.”
Learning the “Rule of 120”
Here’s what celebrating New Year’s Eve will cost: $120 for a babysitter, another $120 for a fixed menu dinner for two, $120 for drinks, and $47 for late-night pizza with your newfound friends at 2:07 AM. Then you’ll come to realize all the practical things you could have bought with that money the next day.
Outings with Childless Friends
You’ll head out with friends who don’t have kids and feel envious of their boundless energy and freedom to sleep in until 1 PM if they wish.
Outings with Fellow Parents
When you go out with other parents, it’ll either turn into a lengthy discussion about your kids, making you wish you had just stayed home, or it will become a wild night out that ends with your partner wishing he’d left you at home.
Fireworks at Midnight
When the clock strikes midnight, you’ll hear fireworks and find yourself warning your husband that if they wake the kids, you’ll hunt down the culprits and unleash your inner momma bear.
Morning Regrets
You’ll realize way too late that those 12:03 AM selfies were a terrible idea. If “tired as a mother” were a look, you’d be nailing it.
Early Wake-Ups
No matter how late you stayed up or how much champagne you drank, you’ll be up at 5:45 AM. You didn’t want to shell out for a babysitter on New Year’s Day or spend a fortune on a hotel? Get ready for that early morning wake-up call – it’s like kids have a sixth sense for these things.
Caffeine and Painkillers
You’ll find yourself in dire need of coffee and aspirin, only to discover you’re out of one or both. You might even think about trading your firstborn for a large coffee with extra cream and sugar, just to survive the morning.
Mom Guilt
The next morning, after all the money spent and feeling lousy, you’ll wish you had just snuggled up with your little ones, watched Disney Junior, sipped sparkling cider, and gone to bed at 9:15 PM.
Noisemakers Galore
Your kids will play with those obnoxious New Year’s noisemakers for months, and by April, you’ll throw them all away in a fit of rage.
Planning for Next Year
You’ll start crafting your excuse for next New Year’s Eve a full 364 days in advance. Something along the lines of, “Sorry, we’re staying in this year. Couldn’t find a sitter. Have a blast, though! I’m totally envious!”
The silver lining of New Year’s Eve after becoming a parent? Realizing that the best place to be is right where you feel most at ease. You might even come to see that there’s no better spot than home with your family while wearing your favorite yoga pants.
Here’s to a new year filled with surviving parenthood, embracing the beautiful bodies that birthed our children, being kinder to our partners (at least in the morning), and perhaps figuring out a little of our lives (whatever that means). And if all else fails, there’s always next year.
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Summary:
New Year’s Eve shifts dramatically once you have kids. The hunt for a babysitter, the exhaustion by 9 PM, and the constant pressure of social expectations can turn the night into a challenge. While it can be tempting to reminisce about the wild nights of the past, finding joy in the comfort of home with your family often becomes the true celebration. Here’s to navigating parenthood and making the most out of each New Year!