Updated: Jan. 5, 2021
Originally Published: Jan. 4, 2017
“Do you ever put that baby down?”
“Are you worried about spoiling him?”
“You should start teaching him to self-soothe before it gets too late.”
These were just a few of the comments I faced when my little ones were mere newborns. Yes, I was met with these questions not when they were a few months old, but when they were still tiny infants, just out of the womb. Family, friends, and even some pediatricians expressed their concerns about the impact of holding my babies too much.
Reflecting on it now, I realize how ridiculous those statements were. My boys are now 4 and 9, and they zoom past me, making me beg for a moment to cuddle like we used to. At that time, though, I didn’t have the foresight to know they would eventually become independent, so the criticisms certainly affected me.
The thing is, holding my babies constantly wasn’t merely a preference; it was a necessity. If I set them down, they would cry uncontrollably. I could have let them cry and hoped they would figure out how to soothe themselves, but my instincts screamed that if my baby was upset, he needed to be held. I followed those instincts despite the judging looks I sometimes received.
As it turns out, my instincts were spot on. Babies truly do need to be held when they fuss—not just because they’re adorable and snuggly, but because research shows you literally cannot spoil a baby. In fact, physical contact is crucial for their health and development.
The Science Behind Holding Your Baby
A recent study published in Pediatrics examined the long-term effects of skin-to-skin contact for premature infants. The research found that those who experienced skin-to-skin care had higher IQs, increased gray matter in the brain, and even earned higher salaries as adults compared to those who didn’t receive this type of care. Additionally, they displayed fewer issues with hyperactivity and aggression during their school years.
While this study focused on preemies, research on full-term infants shows similar outcomes. A 2012 analysis from the Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth Group revealed that full-term babies who received skin-to-skin care had improved breathing stability, higher breastfeeding rates, and cried less overall.
But it’s not just about those precious early moments. Holding your baby has lasting benefits for weeks beyond birth. An earlier study from Pediatrics highlighted how cuddling significantly impacts a baby’s happiness and feeding success. Furthermore, carrying your baby during the day helps reduce fussiness and colic symptoms, which often peak around six weeks old. If you’ve had a colicky baby, you know how desperately you’d do anything to ease their discomfort!
More Compelling Evidence
Want more compelling evidence? Research shows that holding your baby during painful medical procedures, like vaccinations, helps minimize their pain response. Skin-to-skin contact also enhances a baby’s breastfeeding success and fosters deep emotional connections between parents and their little ones.
For those interested in the science behind this, Dr. Julia Carter, a pediatric researcher, explains that infant brains undergo critical development in those initial months. The care they receive during this time profoundly influences their brain growth. She notes that the amygdala—essential for emotional learning and memory—matures significantly in the first two months after birth. Skin-to-skin contact helps activate this brain region, promoting its development.
It’s astonishing how much research supports the idea that you cannot spoil a baby. In fact, the majority of studies indicate that a lack of physical contact could lead to negative health and developmental consequences.
Sometimes, I wish I could travel back in time to show the critics the wealth of data proving that keeping my babies close was the right choice. Yet, like many new moms, I was likely too tired and overwhelmed to engage in debates or research.
Fortunately, most mothers rely on their instincts, knowing that their baby belongs in their arms and that the notion of spoiling a baby is simply untrue. But if you’re seeking scientific validation, rest assured there’s plenty of it out there—new studies are published regularly.
Or, if all else fails, you can always flash a confident smile, grab your baby, and walk away from the naysayers. That works just fine too.
Further Reading
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In summary, the scientific consensus supports the idea that you can’t spoil a baby through affection and physical closeness. Holding and nurturing your infant is vital for their emotional and cognitive development, and far from spoiling them, it fosters their growth and well-being.