Jan. 6, 2017
I’ve always dreaded confrontation. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been uneasy about what others might think of me, leading me to remain silent and avoid conflicts.
I recall a time when I was around 10 years old. My mom handed me some money to grab frozen yogurt from a nearby TCBY while she waited at a table. While standing in line, a teenager suddenly cut in front of me. I stood there, frozen like a statue, too shy to speak up. To my shock, my mom stormed over and exclaimed, “Excuse me, my daughter has been waiting in line, and you just cut her!” All I could manage was a meek “Mooommm,” while the girl reluctantly stepped behind me. The frozen yogurt tasted like disappointment that day. My mom’s words echoed in my ears: “You need to speak up for yourself.”
Fast forward nearly 20 years, and I’ve made some strides, I’ll admit. I’ve learned to ask for extra milk in my coffee when the barista barely gives me a splash. If a taxi driver tries to overcharge me, I’ll voice my concerns. If I find myself in a debate with a friend, I’m more willing to share my opinion. I’ve moved from being a quiet observer to being heard, but I still shy away from drawing too much attention to myself.
That all changed when I became pregnant. The journey of pregnancy is thrilling yet filled with self-doubt and questions about everything from the sandwich I ate to the lotion I put on my skin. I immersed myself in information to ensure I was doing everything right for my little one, who was just the size of a poppy seed but already deeply cherished.
Before my first doctor’s appointment, I compiled a list of questions—about a dozen in total. Some felt trivial, but as a first-time mom, I craved reassurance. I managed to ask a few questions I deemed “not silly,” but when it came time to address the more unusual concerns, I hesitated. In the past, I might have just thought, “That’s enough. I’ll figure it out later,” but the new mom in me wouldn’t let that happen.
This was my baby’s health on the line, and I wasn’t going to let anyone intimidate me. I asked about the wine I had a few weeks before I knew I was pregnant, my habit of sleeping on my stomach at eight weeks, and even my heart rate during exercise. Despite my anxiety about how these questions might be perceived, I pushed through.
The world didn’t end. My doctor didn’t dismiss me. Instead, I left the office armed with answers and a sense of relief that everything was on track. Eight months later, my daughter arrived, and that’s when the real fun began. Suddenly, everyone seemed to have an opinion on parenting. I encountered all types of advice—some valuable, some not—but I learned to ignore my inner conflict-averse self. The reality is, I am the expert when it comes to raising my daughter.
Did some visitors seem put out when I requested they wash their hands before holding my newborn? Yes. Did they act offended when I stepped away to breastfeed? Absolutely. Did they offer unsolicited advice and judge my choices? Of course. But did I let it bother me? Not one bit.
If my daughter ever finds herself in a frozen yogurt line and stays silent when someone cuts in front of her, I’ll be the protective mom who speaks up for her. Until then, I’ll continue to guide her, teaching her that being assertive is not the same as being rude, and that the only judgment that truly matters is the one she places on herself.
For more insights into this journey, you can visit this link to explore other articles that may resonate with you. If you’re looking for expert advice on fertility, check out Make A Mom’s resources. Additionally, for comprehensive information about pregnancy, March of Dimes offers excellent guidance.
Summary:
This article reflects on the journey of learning to advocate for oneself, particularly during pregnancy. It shares personal experiences of overcoming shyness and confrontation fears, highlighting the transformation that comes with motherhood. The narrative emphasizes the importance of being assertive and trusting one’s instincts in parenting while providing helpful resources for readers seeking further information.