I’ve been wrestling with how to articulate my feelings—what I felt and what I still feel—after encountering the words you shared. They were few and far between, just some careless characters hiding beneath my article on mental health, yet they struck a deep chord within me. They stirred a mix of emotions: anger, fear, and a profound sense of violation. This wasn’t merely harsh criticism; it was a vulgar, sexualized attack that felt violent at its core.
What she needs is a strong man with a large c**k. That’ll sort her out. (Let’s be clear: a big member doesn’t cure depression, and sex won’t “fix” mental illness.) But perhaps a bit of context is in order. Did I provoke this vitriol? Was my writing offensive? Maybe I’m just too uptight and need a little fun? Or perhaps I do need a large, well, you know… No, absolutely not. None of that is true.
I did nothing wrong. No woman deserves to be addressed in such a degrading manner. Regardless of who I am, I shouldn’t face sexual taunts or aggressive language. This kind of language is demoralizing and should never be deemed acceptable.
I understand some might think I’m overreacting. “It was just a joke,” they’d say, urging me to toughen up. But let me clarify: when you hear this kind of language and remain silent, you contribute to the problem. When you use such phrases, you reinforce stereotypes and normalize gender discrimination. You unintentionally promote sexual aggression and excuse violence. As noted by Everyday Feminism, phrases like “f*ck you” and “suck my d*ck” perpetuate a culture that normalizes sexual violence.
But I refuse to remain silent any longer. Today, I’m addressing you, anonymous commenter, and men like you: I know you don’t know me, but I’m aware of your type. I’ve sat in classrooms alongside men who think like you, worked with men who speak like you, and encountered your kind both online and in real life.
You’ve been watching me since I developed curves and my body matured. You’ve been sexualizing me since I became a young woman. Logically, I recognize you’re not the same man who catcalled me at 14 or the one who asked “How much?” when I was 16. But in essence, you are. You embody every negative interaction I’ve faced.
I typically don’t respond to comments like yours because I know they often fall on deaf ears. You might hear my words, but you likely scoff and dismiss them. My time and my voice are invaluable. However, this time, I felt compelled to speak—not for you, but for the countless women who have faced similar experiences. Women who endure threats of violence and degradation in their daily lives.
Your words have a chilling effect. You probably see nothing wrong with what you said; it was “just playful banter” in your mind. But let’s be clear: real men don’t speak this way.
So, if you’re still reading, I urge you to think before you type or speak. Consider the impact of your words. If not for me, then for the women in your life—your mother, sister, daughter, or friend. Hatred is unattractive, and sexism is far from sexy.
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In summary, it’s crucial to challenge degrading language and attitudes. We must advocate for respect and equality, recognizing that all individuals deserve to be treated with dignity.