I understand that the “cry-it-out” method can ignite strong opinions among parents. It’s hard to scroll through the internet without encountering debates about letting your little ones cry themselves to sleep. Today, I’m sharing my personal journey with this approach and the positive outcomes for my family. You can take what resonates with you and leave the rest. I hope that sharing my story offers some encouragement to fellow parents navigating this wild parenting adventure.
When I became a mother a decade ago, the flood of information available to new parents today was nowhere near as overwhelming. I empathize with new moms facing a barrage of choices—co-sleeping, breastfeeding, vaccinations, crying-it-out, working versus staying at home, and the list goes on. It’s exhausting, and it seems like no matter what path you choose, someone will have something to say about it.
If you dive into research on crying it out today, you might stumble upon alarming claims that could leave you feeling terrified of letting your baby cry, worried they’ll end up a monster by adulthood. Society has plenty of opinions, and as a parent, that can be daunting. However, I want to share my positive experience with CIO. My children, now 5 and 10, are excellent sleepers, and I wish I had encountered more stories like mine during those challenging moments when I felt helpless listening to my babies cry.
In those early days, I reminded myself that I was teaching my children an invaluable skill: how to fall asleep independently. I was also giving myself a chance to regain my sanity and avoid the depths of sleep deprivation. Was it painful? Absolutely. Did I shed tears? You bet. But in the end, did it work? Yes, and I would do it all over again if it meant ensuring my kids developed healthy sleep habits.
Understanding the Cry-It-Out Method
For anyone unfamiliar, “cry-it-out” (CIO) methods are often a last resort for parents desperate for a good night’s sleep. When my first child was born, I was juggling a demanding job and desperately needed rest. My son seemed to think midnight was playtime, and I was struggling to function. After thorough research, I decided to give CIO a try.
Depending on the method, CIO typically involves letting your baby cry for a bit while you check in occasionally. The goal is for them to learn to self-soothe and eventually fall asleep on their own. We began this process around 8 months for my first child and a bit earlier for my second. We ensured they were comfortable, fed, and dry before laying them down sleepy but awake. Then the crying began. I felt like a monster as I counted down the minutes before I’d go in to soothe them. Those nights felt endless, but I kept telling myself it was for their benefit.
Miraculously, by the third or fourth night, the crying subsided, and they started sleeping through the night. It felt like a miracle, a new lease on life for all of us! Of course, we faced a few bumps in the road, but overall, they became great sleepers who happily went to bed in their own rooms.
Despite the horror stories circulating against CIO, my kids have grown into well-adjusted, loving, and intelligent individuals. Research supports the notion that CIO doesn’t harm babies. If you find yourself in the midst of a crying session, remind yourself: “I’m not harming my baby; I’m teaching them a life skill.” And trust me, they haven’t sprouted scales or started speaking in tongues, though I do sometimes wonder about my youngest.
A Transformative Experience
For us, CIO was a transformative experience. I want to clarify that I’m not advocating for leaving a hungry newborn to cry for hours—that’s not the intent. I’m simply offering some support to fellow parents who might be hanging onto their sanity and desperately need a few quiet hours of sleep to survive this journey. You’re not a bad parent; you’re doing your best, and everything will turn out alright.
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Summary
My experience with the cry-it-out method led to my children becoming fantastic sleepers, allowing us all to enjoy restful nights. While the process was challenging, the long-term benefits were worth it. It’s important to support each other in our parenting choices, even when they invite differing opinions.