Children have a remarkable ability to showcase their worst behaviors, especially when you’re surrounded by other parents. It’s always the case that your little one is throwing a fit or acting out while other kids are behaving like perfect little angels, all sweet and serene. Meanwhile, your child might be doing something that makes you cringe, like picking their nose or pulling hair, and you find yourself venting to a friend or seeking advice online.
In these awkward moments, you feel the weight of every parenting choice you’ve ever made, convinced that your perceived failures are the root of your child’s less-than-stellar behavior. You might think, “Is it too much screen time? Have I been too lenient?” The shame can be overwhelming. And just when you’re feeling down about your parenting skills, someone inevitably says, “My kid would never do that.” Or some variation that feels like a dagger to the heart.
That phrase can be outrageous. When someone claims their child “never” throws tantrums or misbehaves, they’re suggesting their child is never hungry, tired, or cranky. Kids haven’t mastered the art of expressing discomfort, so they sometimes act out. Unless that parent has a magical ability to anticipate their child’s needs 24/7 (which is a stretch), there will inevitably be meltdowns. If someone insists their child “never” engages in weird behavior, they’re not being truthful. They’re probably the same ones who claim they never have gas—let’s be real.
Wouldn’t it be refreshing if those parents offered a sympathetic nod instead? What if they shared their own embarrassing stories, like “My kid just humped a pillow last week”? It would relieve some of the pressure on parents whose typically well-behaved children suddenly turn into little monsters in public.
Imagine how nice it would be if those self-righteous individuals would just keep quiet and offer a reassuring smile instead of a judgemental comment. It’s likely that they have their own parenting insecurities; feeling superior to others may be their coping mechanism. The reality is: all kids—no matter how great their parents are—will occasionally do embarrassing or outrageous things.
Even if another parent’s child seems to be a model of good behavior, it doesn’t mean their parenting is superior. It’s simply a snapshot in time where their child is not acting out. You can bet that behind closed doors, they too question where they might be going wrong.
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In summary, every parent has faced moments of doubt and embarrassment regarding their child’s behavior. It’s essential to remember that all kids act out at times, and it’s not a reflection of your parenting abilities. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should support each other through the ups and downs of raising children.