When Your Big Surprises Don’t Go as Expected (AKA Your Kids Are Totally Unimpressed by Disneyland!)

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My partner, Sarah, and I had our three kids gathered on the couch, ready to unveil a surprise that we hoped would be memorable. Our eldest, Ethan, a 9-year-old sporting a superhero T-shirt and mismatched shorts, had his eyes gleaming with anticipation—probably expecting a new gaming console. Clara, our 7-year-old, was dressed as a princess (as usual) and radiated excitement, while our toddler, Lily, was glued to her iPad, absorbed in a movie. It was the only way to keep her still for the big moment.

After a year of saving every penny, we were finally taking our family to Disneyland. For Sarah and me, this was monumental. We both work in education and live in a cozy little house in rural Oregon. Struggling to save over the years meant this trip was a huge deal—three days in the park, a stay at the Disneyland Hotel, park hopper passes—you name it. We had countless chats about how thrilled our kids would be and how this trip would make all our sacrifices worthwhile. We even communicated in code about our plans to build the suspense.

We wrapped the passes and a set of Disneyland luggage tags, a freebie we received. As Sarah handed the package to Ethan and Clara, we exchanged hopeful smiles, dreaming of their joyous reactions.

“What’s this?” Ethan asked, tearing at the wrapping.

“They’re passes to Disneyland!” Sarah squealed.

“Oh…” Ethan replied, his tone as flat as when we mention having peanut butter and jelly for lunch.

Clara mirrored his reaction, and I felt a deflating sensation inside me. I glanced at Sarah; she wore a tight-lipped expression, eyebrows knit together. The tickets lay neglected on the floor. Ethan had already donned his headphones again, absorbed in his game, while Clara was wandering back to her room. There were no cheers, no applause—just silence.

Um, what the heck?

As parents, we can interpret moments like this in a few ways. One possibility is that our kids are spoiled and expect everything handed to them. But that didn’t seem right since our last big family outing was a five-year-ago trip to a free zoo in St. Louis.

Or maybe we hadn’t prepared them for the magic of Disneyland. I remember as a kid, trips to the Magic Kingdom were legendary. Everyone talked about the experience with a sense of wonder.

What I think really happened—and I suspect this is a common scenario for parents—is that we projected our own childhood emotions and expectations onto our kids, assuming they would share our enthusiasm for the same experiences. We often see parents on the sidelines of sports games, urging their children to “have fun” while the kids are busy picking daisies on the field.

Both Sarah and I had wonderful memories of Disneyland from our childhood, particularly mine with my dad, which stands out as one of the few happy memories I have of him before things turned sour. However, our kids simply hadn’t experienced it yet. They didn’t have the background knowledge to feel the excitement we felt, so they reacted with indifference.

In that moment, though, I was taken aback and felt a bit hurt. “Really?” Sarah asked, her voice rising. “You don’t care?” She pulled Clara back into the room, explaining all about the princesses she would meet and Snow White’s Castle. We then told Ethan about the rides, characters, and all the Star Wars attractions, showing them videos online. Gradually, excitement began to register on their faces. Success!

In the end, our trip was fantastic, and the kids enjoyed every minute. Now that they’ve been to Disneyland, if we surprised them again, I know their reactions would be very different. What we realized is that our children are still learning about the world; they can’t be expected to share our excitement without having experienced it themselves.

Most importantly, we shouldn’t assume they will love the same things we cherished as kids, as they are unique individuals growing up in a different time. Just because they didn’t react with the same enthusiasm doesn’t mean they are ungrateful; it simply means they are carving their own path.

And, just to be clear, I’m really glad they enjoyed Disneyland because that trip didn’t come cheap!

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Summary

In this humorous take on parental expectations, Jake Thompson recounts the letdown of surprising his kids with a trip to Disneyland, only to be met with indifference. After reflecting on their reactions, he realizes that children may not share the same excitement for experiences they haven’t yet encountered. Ultimately, the family trip turns out to be a success, highlighting the importance of understanding each child’s unique perspective.