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Breaking the Binky Habit: A Journey Worth Taking for My Sanity
My toddler, Lily, has developed an unshakeable attachment to her pacifier. At two years old, she insists on having one in her mouth and one in each hand before she even thinks about sleeping. Shopping trips? She won’t leave the house without her binky. Bath time? Forget it unless she’s got her trusty pacifier. Dinner isn’t complete without her taking a little suck after every bite. It’s clear: she’s absolutely hooked.
As a busy mom of three—ages 9, 7, and 2—I’ve been through this pacifier phase with each of my kids, but Lily’s attachment has become particularly intense. By the time they hit two, the binky situation can get tricky. We seem to have pacifiers strewn across the house: in the car, the kitchen, the bathroom, you name it. We even had to hide a stash in the pantry after Lily discovered our secret drawer full of them and nearly tore it apart trying to get to her beloved binkies. Trust me, finding a replacement drawer was no small feat and quite expensive.
The thought of breaking this habit in the next year fills me with dread, as I vividly recall the challenges with my older two. We’ve gathered a few techniques over the years, mostly learned through trial and error (and mostly error). With my oldest, Max, I naively thought I could reason with him at age three. I sat beside him and tried to explain how giving up childish things is part of growing up. He stared at me blankly, as if I were speaking a different language. When I took his binky away, he wailed for 45 minutes straight until I caved and returned it.
We tried various tactics: dipping binkies in vinegar (which he surprisingly learned to like), and limiting binkies to nighttime only, which turned him into a little monster during the day. Eventually, we found success by attaching his binky to a doorknob, allowing him to have his fix while learning to leave it behind. I’ll never forget the sight of my determined little guy sitting in the hallway, binky in mouth, looking both devastated and desperate.
With my middle child, Emma, we resorted to snipping the ends of her binkies to make them less appealing, which did the trick but turned her into a total grouch for several days. It was as if she was detoxing, and we all had to endure the fallout.
Throughout the weaning process, there were moments when I faltered. The noise got so unbearable that I found myself handing a binky back, leading to a full relapse. At times, I feared my children might still be dependent on their pacifiers in high school, waiting for peer pressure to finally break the habit because I clearly wasn’t strong enough.
Yet, despite knowing all this, I still gave my youngest, Lily, a binky. Whenever I see another child with one in a store, I recognize I’m not alone in this struggle. There are those who take a firm anti-binky stance, often casting judgment on parents like me. But they don’t understand the grip a binky can have.
Anyone who has navigated this journey knows the late nights filled with tears and the realization that we’ve inadvertently created little pacifier addicts. However, looking back on those early years, I can confidently say that having that one comfort item is invaluable. It provides a sense of control in the chaos of parenting, allowing me to soothe my child and bring some peace to our lives.
As soon as a new baby arrives, the memories of trying to break the binky habit fade away, replaced by the immediate need to calm a crying infant. I cherish those moments of seeing my little ones’ round faces with a binky, content and, most importantly, quiet.
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In summary, while the binky habit can be tough to break, the comfort it provides in those early years is something I wouldn’t trade for anything.