“An elephant for a nickel is only a deal if you need an elephant and you have the nickel.” My partner, Jake, often shares this old saying with our kids — and honestly, it resonates with us deeply. We’re living paycheck to paycheck, and no matter how hard we strive to save, we simply can’t seem to make it happen.
We identify as part of the working-poor class, and we know we work tirelessly for the little we do have. Yet, some individuals seem to equate poverty with laziness, suggesting that if we just pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps, we could save some money.
In the beloved novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch wisely noted, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.” So, let me share mine.
In our household, we constantly debate the distinction between needs and wants. What our family considers essential differs vastly from the views of many middle-class families. For example, internet access may be seen as a luxury; Starbucks, smartwatches, and trendy leggings are definitely wants. If it doesn’t sustain life, it’s simply not a need.
Together, Jake and I work nearly 100 hours a week just to provide safe housing, nutritious meals, necessary medical care, clothing, and transportation. Everything beyond that is secondary.
Our idea of a date night is curling up on the couch after the kids are asleep. Holiday celebrations consist of asking each other for a few items we truly need, like socks or work shirts, wrapping them up so our kids won’t realize we can’t afford a proper Christmas. Birthday parties often turn into “vintage” backyard gatherings because hosting a barbecue is much more budget-friendly than a big celebration. My wardrobe? It’s a “capsule collection,” made up of just three pairs of pants that I can afford.
We cannot save what we don’t have. We continuously search for ways to minimize our expenses. While we remind ourselves that we don’t need an elephant, we also don’t have that nickel.
For years, we’ve lined up at charity organizations to apply for winter fuel assistance, pouring over our finances with strangers. There have been countless times when scraping together two nickels was so challenging that we had to dip into our children’s piggy banks just to buy groceries until payday. It’s a painful irony, especially since we’re teaching them about saving money.
Yes, we feel shame. Who wouldn’t? Living in a society that perpetuates the myth that hard work guarantees success can be demoralizing. When we juggle multiple jobs and have cut every possible expense, yet still struggle, it makes me question the validity of the American Dream. It feels out of reach.
We know we are poor, but we’re also aware that many families are worse off. We have a warm, safe place to call home filled with love. While my children may not experience the luxury of vacations or trips to amusement parks, we creatively upcycle everyday materials into art projects, making memories along the way. Last year, we converted salvaged wood into a stunning treehouse for our kids — at no cost.
We’re broke, but we’re resourceful. We seek solutions everywhere, but alas, the elusive money tree remains unfound. Just like the elephant and the nickel, you need to have it before you can save it.
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