When my son was a tiny baby, his father and I found ourselves in a long-distance relationship. We had spent four years together, and I genuinely believed we would eventually tie the knot. However, after two years of struggling with the distance, I made the tough decision to part ways for the sake of everyone involved. That was nearly a year ago.
Since then, I’ve had friends encouraging me to dive back into the dating scene, thinking it would be beneficial for me. But, honestly? I have zero interest in dating at the moment. It’s just not on my radar. While it may sound like a cliché, I’m truly focusing on myself and the things that matter most to me. After spending so many years in a partnership, even when we weren’t together, I still thought of us as a unit. After six years, I found myself lost in the “we” and needed to rediscover the “me.”
Embracing My Independence
Being single feels good to me. I’ve always been comfortable in my own company, likely because I grew up as an only child. I learned to entertain myself, and as I matured, my comfort with solitude only deepened. I cherish my independence—making my own decisions, decorating my space as I please, and enjoying late-night dance parties to my favorite ’90s hits without worrying about someone else’s preferences. I can take my time in the bathroom, spreading out my things without sharing space. This stage is all about reclaiming my identity as an individual.
A New Perspective on Life
Having spent much of my twenties in a relationship, I realize how different I am now at almost 31 compared to 23. My perspective on life has evolved, especially as a mom with new responsibilities. Casual dating was never my forte. Even in my younger days, I could only focus on one person at a time, often leading to heartbreak. At 30, as a mother, I simply lack the time and emotional bandwidth for casual flings.
My son and I share a deep bond, and I’m not ready to introduce anyone who might disrupt that. The thought of him forming an attachment and then facing loss if the relationship doesn’t work out is heart-wrenching. He doesn’t have a close relationship with his father, so he quickly connects with male role models. I can’t bear the idea of breaking his heart. Given that finding a meaningful connection often requires wading through a few less-than-ideal experiences, I’m just not prepared for that right now.
Intimacy and Personal Growth
And what about intimacy? My friends seem to think that my lack of dating means I must be struggling. In reality, I’ve put that aspect of my life on hold. It might sound odd, but I believe things will fall into place when the time is right. I was a late bloomer when it came to intimacy, and while I miss it, I know it’s not something I need to prioritize at this moment. If it’s meant to happen, it will. I’m not about to jump on dating apps just to satisfy my friends.
Focusing on My Career
One of the greatest benefits of being single has been the chance to focus on my career. This newfound dedication has paid off substantially, both financially and personally, which is invaluable for a single mom. With a more flexible schedule now, I’ve been able to devote time to my writing career, and I’m finally seeing the fruits of my labor after seven years of hard work. I doubt I would have had the same motivation or time if I were also in a relationship.
Trusting the Process
I trust that when the time comes for love to find me, it will. As Diana Ross wisely said, “You can’t hurry love; you just have to wait.” I appreciate my friends’ concern—they only want to see me happy—but for the first time in years, I genuinely feel content. I have an amazing child whom I adore, a career that’s finally taking off, and a supportive network of friends and family. At this point, a romantic partner would just be a bonus, and I’m perfectly fine enjoying life as it is.
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Conclusion
In summary, as a single mom, my focus is on self-discovery and nurturing my relationship with my son. Dating is not a priority for me right now; I’m enjoying my independence and pursuing my career goals. When love is meant to come my way, I believe it will happen naturally.