Like many new parents, I found myself completely unprepared for the reality of motherhood. It’s true that no amount of preparation can truly ready you for the whirlwind ahead, but the sheer physical and mental fatigue caught me off guard.
There were countless days when my exhaustion was so profound that I could have easily dozed off while standing. Sleep was my lifeline; I would prioritize it over food any day. I was also quite clear about my stance on bed-sharing: it simply wasn’t going to happen. I love my children dearly, but I cherish my own space even more, particularly at night when we all need to retreat to our own beds.
About two years ago, I was cozied up in my Tempur-Pedic bed, enveloped in a fluffy down comforter, deep in a dream. Suddenly, I felt a gentle poke. Startled, I opened my eyes to see my son standing by my side. He leaned in and whispered, “Mommy, can I sleep with you?”
Historically, my children have been fantastic sleepers. However, I did put in some work early on to help them establish good sleep habits. I read numerous books and adopted the strategies that resonated with us. I’m well aware of the expert advice regarding nighttime awakenings and how to handle them. The consensus is fairly straightforward:
- Never allow your child into your bed during the night. Even one exception can lead to a lifetime of toddler tyranny where finger paint and Cheerios rule your home.
- Do not engage with your child in any way. Ignoring them is key; showing concern only reveals weakness, and they’ll exploit it.
- Gently take their hand and walk them back to their own bed. Tuck them in quickly and return to your own bed at once.
- If the child returns crying, again, do not communicate. Simply guide them back to their bed, even if it requires some effort. Then, hastily return to your own bed, hoping the ordeal is over.
- Repeat steps 2 to 4 until morning. Be prepared for extreme fatigue; you may not be fit to drive or operate machinery for weeks.
As my son’s question echoed in my mind, all of this advice flooded back to me. Should I walk him back to his room? Would I regret letting him into bed? Our sleeping routine had been so peaceful! I glanced at the clock—it was 1:18 a.m. “Yes,” I said, pulling him in beside me. We all drifted back to sleep together.
Fast forward over 700 nights later, and my son still asks every night, “Mommy, can I sleep with you?” I find it incredibly endearing that he continues to seek my company. Perhaps his Southern upbringing imparts a sense of politeness, or maybe he understands that nothing is guaranteed and that circumstances can shift in an instant. For now, my response will always be “yes.”
These moments are sweeter than I could have ever envisioned. As he snuggles up, I often feel his tiny hand grasp mine in the quiet hours of the morning. Weekend mornings are blissful, and holidays are even more special. I know this phase won’t last forever, and there will come a time when no one will be asking to share my bed.
So, I tell my little prince, keep asking me every night if you wish to be close. Come to me when you feel lonely or scared or just want to be near your mommy. Ask, and know that my answer will always be a resounding yes.
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Summary:
This heartfelt narrative captures the unexpected journey of motherhood and the importance of sleep and connection. The author reflects on the initial determination to avoid bed-sharing, only to embrace the nightly requests from her son. Through personal anecdotes, the piece highlights the sweetness of these moments and the transient nature of childhood.