Co-sleeping might be more prevalent than you realize. Nowadays, parents often feel comfortable admitting their parenting confessions: “I let my kid binge-watch cartoons,” “I can’t wait for school drop-off,” or “I secretly enjoy it when they refuse to wear a jacket and get cold.” These confessions usually earn chuckles and camaraderie among fellow parents. However, there are certain choices that many parents hesitate to openly discuss, and co-sleeping is one of them.
In her book, Sleeping Together: Families, Children, and Shared Beds, Professor Emma Thompson from the University of Illinois interviewed 51 parents who share their beds with their children. Surprisingly, she discovered that about 50% of them chose not to disclose this practice to their friends or even to their child’s pediatricians, largely due to the stigma surrounding it. While this is a limited study, it’s not hard to believe that many co-sleeping families feel similarly.
The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against bed-sharing due to its ties to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related fatalities in infants. Yet, for every cautionary tale about bed-sharing, there seems to be a counterargument highlighting its benefits. For instance, in an op-ed for the New York Times, Professors Lucy and Mark Johnson from Yale noted that in many cultures, such as in Japan, it’s customary for parents to co-sleep with their infants. They pointed out that Japan boasts one of the lowest infant mortality rates globally, along with a SIDS rate that is approximately half of that in the United States.
The notion that sharing a bed with an infant is inherently dangerous isn’t a universally accepted idea. It raises questions about our Western parenting norms, particularly when considering practices that might stem from deeply entrenched cultural beliefs, such as the insistence on children sleeping alone or avoiding any alcohol during pregnancy. As Professor Thompson remarked, “American society often lacks a communal approach to raising children. It’s a competitive environment where parents often feel solely responsible for any issues their child faces.”
While the debate over bed-sharing primarily centers on infants, parents of older children who co-sleep also grapple with societal judgment. Even though the safety concerns diminish, other stigmas come into play. An article in The Globe and Mail, titled “The Risks of Co-Sleeping With Older Kids and 6 Ways to Transition Away From It,” warns that sharing a bed with older children might lead to issues like dependency, low self-esteem, social difficulties, marital strain, and even affect the psychological well-being of parents. It’s no wonder many prefer to keep this practice under wraps.
Whether you’re a fan of co-sleeping or not, it’s essential to recognize that this practice doesn’t equate to neglect or irresponsibility. If you find bed-sharing works for your family, embrace it. However, if you believe it poses risks, it’s perfectly fine to choose otherwise. Ultimately, co-sleeping is about family dynamics and personal choice, and looking beyond our cultural boundaries might foster a more accepting view of parenting methods. For further insights into parenting and family dynamics, you can check out more on our other blog posts here.
In summary, a recent study reveals that many parents who co-sleep are hesitant to admit it due to societal stigma. While the American Academy of Pediatrics warns against bed-sharing, other cultures embrace it, challenging Western norms. The decision to co-sleep should be based on individual family dynamics rather than fear of judgment.