When I was a kid, my mom would ask me to tackle the dishes, and I’d stomp over to the sink, muttering under my breath, “You only had kids so someone else could do the dirty work.” Now that I’m a parent, I see how absurd that perspective was. Parents don’t have children solely for the sake of chore delegation. They have kids so they can enlist them in the endless cycle of household tasks — from washing dishes to walking the dog and everything in between. Let’s be honest: kids can be seen as a source of free labor. Plus, it’s beneficial for them, helping to build a sense of responsibility and work ethic. So, when I assign chores to my kids, I’m not just being a responsible parent; I’m also carving out time for more “adult” activities, like scrolling through Pinterest for projects I’ll probably never start.
Keeping a household running smoothly is an incredible amount of work, and I’ve recently come to a significant realization: My kids need to contribute more. If they’re going to consume all my resources — from toilet paper to snacks — they can certainly lend a hand while they live rent-free in my home.
Up until this point, my kids have had it relatively easy. Sure, they’ve had chores, but those mainly revolved around their personal messes — making their beds, clearing their plates, and so on. And despite my consistent reminders (okay, nagging), I still find myself spending a frustrating amount of time picking up after them, whether it’s sweeping up crumbs, collecting stray socks, or finding candy wrappers stuffed between the couch cushions.
I often chose to do tasks myself because it was quicker in the moment. I’ve been following my household routine for so long that it’s practically second nature. I know the best ways to clean everything, from the bathroom to the living room. However, I’m not doing myself, or my children, any favors by shouldering the bulk of the work. If I don’t teach them these essential skills or set the expectation for them to help out, I’m sending the message that these responsibilities don’t belong to them. And they do, because I refuse to end up with moody teenagers who mistake “Mom” for “maid,” or worse, lazy adults who leave their dirty laundry for someone else to clean.
I’ve reached my limit. This determined mom is ready to have her kids pitch in more with chores. There’s just one small hiccup: I have a bit of a neat-freak tendency, while my kids are, well, carefree when it comes to cleanliness. They could turn our living room into a fort made of pizza boxes and barely bat an eye.
For the sake of everyone’s sanity, I’m trying to suppress my high standards while my kids bumble through their chores, often taking much longer than I would and making a mess in the process. It’s a test of patience as I silently oversee their attempts, like when they scoop the litter box, my mouth clamped shut and my thoughts racing. “No! Don’t try to grab all the clumps at once!” I think to myself. “Careful with your hands! Just shake the scoop!” I want to intervene, but I know they need to learn, even if it means a few messes along the way.
As they pour in way too much detergent, I can almost picture a bubble explosion in the laundry room. I could have an entire spa day during the time it takes them to clean the bathroom properly — not that I’d have the chance, as I’m supervising them. Regardless of how inefficient they are, I keep my mouth mostly shut, offering only occasional hints. After all, it’s important for them to figure this out on their own, even if it’s frustrating to watch.
In the end, the goal is to equip them with the skills and expectations they need to be responsible adults, rather than leaving them to figure it out when they’re grown.
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In summary, teaching kids to help with chores is no easy feat, especially when they’re still learning the ropes. But it’s crucial for their development and for maintaining a peaceful home, even if it takes more time and patience than I’d prefer.