The Misguided Trend of Criticizing Mother’s Day is Absolutely Ridiculous

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Every year, as Mother’s Day approaches, a wave of articles and social media posts surfaces, urging mothers to think of those for whom this day may evoke sadness or loss. There’s a growing expectation for mothers to step back and consider the feelings of others, particularly those who have faced loss.

As someone who has experienced life as a motherless child and dealt with the longing of childlessness, I fully understand the heartache that can accompany this holiday. My journey included years of infertility and waiting for adoption, so I know how difficult Mother’s Day can be for many. Yet, I can’t shake the feeling that much of the criticism aimed at this celebration may stem from a deeper issue—sexism.

Let’s explore a few points:

1. Mothers in the U.S. Are Often Marginalized
   It might not be obvious to those without children who are annoyed by strollers on sidewalks or noisy kids during dinner. However, mothers in America frequently face career setbacks. Unlike many other countries, U.S. mothers aren’t guaranteed paid maternity leave, and childcare can be prohibitively expensive, often forcing one parent to stay home. Since women generally earn less than men for the same jobs, it’s usually mothers who have to compromise their careers to care for their children.
2. Father’s Day Doesn’t Face the Same Scrutiny
   My social media feeds don’t overflow with reminders about being sensitive to fatherless children or men grappling with child loss during Father’s Day. This holiday was established to ensure that fathers also feel celebrated, yet it doesn’t attract the same level of critique as Mother’s Day does.
3. Mother’s Day Faces Unnecessary Micromanagement
   While there are other holidays that celebrate specific groups, like Veterans Day or Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day seems to be uniquely scrutinized. We allow various groups to have their days in the spotlight without demanding they share it. Veterans are honored without anyone asking them to tone it down for those who aren’t veterans, and similarly, Halloween is celebrated with joy by children without complaints from adults who don’t partake.
4. Exclusivity in Celebrations is Commonplace
   There are many occasions in our calendar that allow for exclusivity without malice. For instance, non-runners don’t resent races that block streets, and children don’t ask adults to celebrate school breaks less just because they don’t have time off. We can celebrate without everyone needing to be involved.
5. Mothers Are Constantly Told How to Parent
   Mothers receive endless advice that can often be contradictory, from well-meaning friends and corporations vying for our attention. We face scrutiny from all sides, and now we’re being told to be cautious about how we celebrate a day dedicated to us, as it might unintentionally hurt those without mothers or who have complicated relationships with motherhood. This feels like yet another attempt to control women, particularly mothers.

Mother’s Day has roots in feminism, originating from a desire to celebrate women and their experiences. Its early forms included ancient festivals honoring mother goddesses and calls for mothers to unite for peace. Today, it represents a chance for mothers to uplift one another amidst a culture that often marginalizes our contributions.

While I recognize the emotional complexities surrounding motherhood, I also believe we can honor the grief that some associate with this day while allowing mothers to celebrate as they wish—without guilt or division. We should create space for all forms of motherhood and family dynamics to acknowledge and cherish their unique experiences.

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In summary, the trend to criticize Mother’s Day is misguided and often rooted in sexism, undermining the importance of celebrating mothers. While we should be sensitive to others’ feelings, this should not diminish the joy that mothers deserve on their special day.