I first came across Kahlil Gibran’s poignant poem, “On Children,” during my teenage years. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment, but I vividly remember my father reciting the line, “Your children are not your children,” with a sense of nostalgia. Perhaps he was grappling with the reality of parenthood as his kids grew up. Whatever the reason, his recitation left a lasting impression on me.
Fast forward over two decades and three children later, I’m now revisiting Gibran’s words from a mother’s perspective. My eldest is 16, and it strikes me how profoundly insightful Gibran’s message is, especially considering he never had children himself. Typically, I tend to dismiss parenting advice from those without children, yet this poem resonates deeply. Perhaps his lack of personal experience afforded him a clarity that many parents struggle to achieve.
Reflections on “On Children”
As I reflect on “On Children,” I recognize the truth behind the lines:
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.”
This opening line hits home for many parents. We feel an instinctual connection to our children, believing we own their identities because we brought them into the world. However, they are not possessions; we are merely the vessels through which they enter life, shaped by forces beyond our control—be it God, nature, or the essence of existence itself.
“You may provide them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may shelter their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.”
The truth is, our children possess their unique identities and futures. As parents, we can nurture and guide them, but we cannot dictate their beliefs or thoughts. They will need their own perspectives to navigate a world we cannot fathom. They were brought into this world for reasons beyond our understanding.
“You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”
As parents, we have an acute awareness of the passage of time. We can’t halt its march forward or rewind it, despite our wishes. It’s tempting to impose our desires onto our children, but they have their own paths to follow, separate from ours.
“You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.”
I feel this bending as my eldest prepares to step out into the world. Perhaps this is why the journey of parenting is often described as challenging. The closer we get to letting go, the more we feel the strain. Yet, this stretching is purposeful and transformative.
“Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.”
This serves as a beautiful reminder to find joy amidst the pain, knowing that both we and our children are cherished by a higher power. We must be strong and stable, for our steadiness will enable them to soar.
Our children are unique individuals, with their own destinies and purposes. They are on a journey that will contribute to the greater tapestry of humanity, even if we may never fully witness their impact. Ultimately, they are not truly ours—they belong to the world.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Gibran’s wisdom invites us to embrace the reality that our role as parents is to nurture but not possess. We guide our children as they step into their own futures, reminding ourselves to appreciate the moments we share.
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Summary
In this piece, we reflect on Kahlil Gibran’s poem “On Children,” exploring the profound idea that our children are not possessions but rather unique individuals with their own destinies. The article emphasizes the importance of nurturing our children while allowing them the freedom to grow and shape their identities. It serves as a poignant reminder of the nature of parenthood and the wisdom of letting go.