In Colorado Springs, a jogger known as “The Wild Defecator” is causing quite the uproar. Local authorities are calling for assistance in identifying a woman who has been repeatedly and unabashedly leaving her droppings on lawns and outside businesses during her daily runs.
The saga began when local resident Judy Thompson’s children spotted this mysterious woman in the act. “They burst into the house yelling, ‘Mom, you won’t believe this—a lady is pooping!’” Judy recounted. When she stepped outside, she found the woman indeed squatting right in front of her home. “I was like, ‘Really? Right here, in front of my kids?’ And she just shrugged and said, ‘Yeah, sorry.’”
The phrase “yeah, sorry” is often reserved for trivial offenses, like finishing the last slice of pizza—not for squatting and leaving a mess in someone else’s yard. Initially, Judy assumed it was an unfortunate accident that would never happen again. “I thought she’d be so embarrassed she’d come back with a dog bag and clean up after herself,” she said. “But that’s not what happened.” The Thompson family now finds evidence of The Wild Defecator’s antics about once a week, often covered with napkins—suggesting this is no mere accident but a pre-planned act. (Your Honor, let the record show the presence of napkins during her runs indicates intent.)
Incredibly, Judy has confronted the woman on two occasions, yet the behavior persists. I can hardly fathom being so nonchalant that you can drop your shorts and take care of business in broad daylight. And it’s not just Judy’s yard—neighbors have reported similar incidents in other areas, including in front of a local Walgreens.
What’s baffling is the fact that there are public restrooms nearby, including one in a park across the street and a gas station just around the corner. Yet, The Wild Defecator seems to prefer the thrill of public defecation over utilizing these facilities. Perhaps she’s sending a territorial message, much like a cat that insists on marking the same spot despite the perfectly good litter box available to them.
The Thompson family is at their wit’s end. They’ve taken photos of the woman and shared them with law enforcement, who are now appealing to the public for help in identifying her. They even put up a humorous sign outside their home begging her to stop. “I put up a sign saying, ‘Please, I’m begging you, just stop.’ She jogged by it 15 times yesterday and still left her mark,” Judy lamented.
If you happen to recognize The Wild Defecator, consider reaching out to local authorities or maybe just sending her a friendly message. And if you are The Wild Defecator, might I suggest investing in a gym membership or even a treadmill for home use? Perhaps it’s time to consider a more private approach.
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Summary
A jogger, dubbed ‘The Wild Defecator,’ has been repeatedly leaving feces on yards and businesses in Colorado Springs, causing frustration among residents. Despite being confronted and with public restrooms nearby, she continues her antics. The community is seeking help to identify her and has even resorted to humorous sign-making to appeal to her sense of decency.