As a mother of over five years, I recently encountered a bizarre parenting moment—one that involved unknowingly carrying a bag of feces. Yes, a literal ball of excrement contained within a plastic sack, much like one might tote a kitten in a basket.
The Potty-Training Journey
You may wonder how I ended up in such an absurd situation. Well, let me explain. My youngest child is currently in the process of potty-training. Admittedly, I lack a solid strategy for teaching him about the toilet, so my approach typically involves a lot of cleaning and occasional exclamations of frustration.
My son has taken to wearing underwear all the time, which is fine by me. I was under the impression that when a child has an accident, the appropriate procedure is to promptly remove the mess from the clothing—liberating the offending waste, if you will. I thought this was standard practice, but it turns out that this is more of a personal preference among those who handle such situations.
The Incident at Preschool
Yesterday, my little one had an unfortunate accident at preschool. His teacher kindly sent me a text to inform me of the mishap and assured me he was cleaned up and well. What she failed to mention was that she had placed everything into a plastic bag—without any prior “turd-dump.” So there it was: a sizable mess wrapped in his adorable Paw Patrol underwear, securely knotted in the bag.
When I arrived to pick him up, I spotted the unmistakable plastic shopping bag hanging from the hook beneath his cubby. Assuming it contained merely soiled underwear, I grabbed it without a second thought. After all, accidents happen, and I figured my washing machine could handle it.
My son, however, insisted on carrying the bag himself. I initially resisted, fearing that letting a toddler manage a bag with poopy underwear was a recipe for disaster. But after five minutes of relentless screaming and his insistence on holding “his bag,” I relented. He held it on his lap during the drive home.
The Horrifying Discovery
Upon arriving home, I decided to tackle the situation before preparing dinner. I untied the bag, expecting to find just the dirty underwear. To my horror, I discovered a large turd that had somehow fused itself to the cotton fabric. My instincts kicked in, and I bolted outside to the dumpster, tossing the entire package without a second thought. There was no way I was going to risk removing a turd from a $2 pair of pants—absolutely not.
A Lesson Learned
This incident has led me to a crucial realization: if you’re in the position of handing someone a bag that may contain a mess, please, for the love of all things holy, provide a heads-up. A simple, “Hey, just so you know, there’s a turd in there,” would go a long way.
It’s worth noting that I later learned that daycare and preschool staff are required to send home any soiled items, as it pertains to sanitation regulations. While I understand the necessity, my preference remains in favor of disposing of the mess directly, underwear and all.
Resources for Parents
If you’re navigating the intricacies of parenting or looking for information about home insemination, I recommend checking out this excellent resource from the CDC. Additionally, for more details on self-insemination, you may find the information at Make a Mom helpful.
Conclusion
In summary, always be prepared for the unexpected in parenting. A little communication goes a long way, especially when dealing with the messier side of child-rearing.