Since the birth of my twins last year, I have been wholeheartedly dedicated to breastfeeding. While I respect everyone’s choices, formula feeding was never on my agenda—I’m quite resolute in my decision.
Since June, I’ve faced relentless pressure to switch to formula. Friends, family, and healthcare providers have criticized my choices, labeling me as selfish and leaving me second-guessing if I could provide enough nourishment. Compounded by struggles with clogged ducts, tongue ties, and difficult latches, the journey has been challenging. Despite my love for nursing and the nutritional benefits it brings my boys, the process has been far from easy.
Everything changed when I received my first bags of donor milk. I was suffering from bronchitis and ended up in the ER. My cousin, who also has twins, promptly sent me 17 ounces through overnight shipping. It was a lifesaver during a day filled with fever and dehydration—she just called FedEx without hesitation.
At a local event, a high school friend approached me with an offer of breast milk. Initially, I was hesitant because asking for help felt foreign to me. Yet, I accepted, overwhelmed with emotion as tears streamed down my face. She brought the milk in convenient 3-to-4-ounce bags, just in time for a significant growth spurt. I honestly don’t know how I would have coped without that support.
Then, my best friend had her baby and began dropping off bags of milk every so often, sometimes even bringing coffee along (I truly have the best friends). When her baby was just six weeks old, she started this process. Now, if I need an extra ounce or two, she is quick to come over and pump fresh milk for me. That’s what I call love and support.
In an unexpected turn, a stranger from Facebook reached out after finding me through Human Milk 4 Human Babies. She generously offered a large bag of pumped milk, and I was moved to tears as I accepted this incredible gift. It nourishes my boys, and in turn, nourishes me.
I understand that not everyone is comfortable with milk donation, and some may not have the means to contribute. For me, it’s akin to holding my hand through a challenging journey. Motherhood is demanding, and nursing often feels overwhelming. So to the incredible women who have offered me this gift—I can’t thank you enough.
You may not realize how often I’ve felt inadequate, juggling the needs of two babies, my beautiful daughter, and my wonderful husband. You might not know that I’ve been criticized for my choices, whether it’s opting out of formula or not following the same path as others.
You were unaware that, just moments after my twins were born, a nurse told me not to worry if they needed formula, and I hadn’t even left the operating table yet. You didn’t see how many times I’ve questioned my parenting due to others’ judgments.
You might not know that I celebrate when my sons maintain their weight above the 5th percentile. I’ve shed countless tears, nursing my babies while chugging quarts of water, feeling like I’m failing. But I also feel immense relief when I open my freezer to find those Medela, Lansinoh, and NUK bags waiting for us.
Now you know how vital this support has been for me.