Kids May Not Be the Perfect Wedding Guests, But We Should Invite Them Anyway

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Wedding planning often feels like a monumental task filled with decisions that, although not life-threatening, carry the weight of the universe. My partner and I opted for a selection of eight different cakes because I simply couldn’t pick just one. I told my bridesmaids to choose their own dresses, showcasing my laid-back side (which might also be a little sarcastic and a hint chaotic), yet I nixed four of my sister’s choices—those dresses were truly an eyesore. However, aside from concluding the night with “Don’t Stop Believin’” performed by the legendary Steve Perry, one choice stood out: we wanted to invite kids.

Children at weddings are undeniably adorable. As the bride, I was determined to shine on my special day, but I also embraced the potential for kids to steal the spotlight. When my little cousins and nieces graced the occasion, I found joy in watching one of our flower girls dance with the groom, standing on his shoes—a moment I cherish deeply.

I understand that not everyone shares the enthusiasm for having kids at weddings. Budget constraints often necessitate excluding them, and some folks might have that one uncle whose party antics lead to chaos on the dance floor. While kids may not suit every wedding, when they do fit, the experience can be fantastic.

Now that my partner and I have children of our own, we face the dilemma of whether to bring them to weddings. Our experiences have shown us that outings can swing from delightful to disastrous with our 4-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter. Long ceremonies, loud music, and late-night adventures often lead to the question: “What were we thinking?”

Our son has sensory sensitivities, particularly to loud noises. Recently, we debated whether to leave our kids with family while attending my cousin’s wedding, which was a few hours away. Ultimately, we decided to bring them along, preparing for any scenario. I packed our old iPods with games and shows, a stroller for resting, snacks, crayons, and toys, and, crucially, hearing-protective earmuffs for our son.

We agreed that if either child had a meltdown, we would simply head back to the hotel, acknowledging we tried our best. To our surprise, we successfully navigated an entire Catholic mass with two kids who had never set foot in a church before—I owe a lot to the activity books and crayons that kept them entertained.

Upon arriving at the reception, uncertainty loomed. Both kids had fallen asleep during the car ride, and our son was irritable upon waking. As he cried, I began to formulate an exit plan. The loud music was distressing him, and he refused to let me put on his earmuffs.

We contemplated leaving, but I decided to feed the kids first, hoping to salvage the evening. I set them up with plates of macaroni and cheese from the buffet. Just as I was preparing to pack up, trays of cookies appeared. I thought, “One last attempt.” I told my son, “If you let me put your earmuffs on, you can have all the cookies you want.” His love for sweets is unmatched. To my surprise, he chose just three cookies, which he devoured with delight before allowing me to place the earmuffs on.

I can’t express how grateful I am that we decided to stay. That cookie feast transformed the night. The four of us returned to the dance floor, where my little cousins were already having a blast. My son jumped in, showing off his dance moves, and soon, my daughter joined him. Watching them smile and celebrate with their cousins washed away the earlier frustrations.

The rest of the night was filled with dancing, laughter, and capturing memories on camera. My son even enjoyed a slow dance with a flower girl while my partner and I danced together. It was truly magical.

Had we left our kids with family, we would have had a good time, enjoying drinks and celebrating my cousin’s nuptials. But we would have missed out on precious moments that I will forever hold dear. And let’s be honest, I wouldn’t have savored those cookies quite the same way.

Weddings are about love, joy, and uniting the people who matter most. I’m so thankful ours included all the special ones, even the smallest and cutest among them.

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In summary, welcoming kids to weddings can lead to unforgettable moments and laughter. While they may not be ideal guests for every event, when the situation is right, their presence can enhance the joy of the celebration.