As a single mother, one of the most significant aspects of my life has been the supportive community I’ve cultivated around myself and my child — our own little village. In the early days, I connected primarily with other stay-at-home moms at playgroups and local parks. While their company was enjoyable, I soon realized that our experiences differed vastly. They couldn’t fully empathize with the challenges I faced as a solo parent, which left me feeling isolated and a bit resentful. Their happy marriages contrasted sharply with my own struggles, and I knew it was essential to seek friendships with fellow single moms who could relate to my journey.
As my child grew, I found solace in spending time with long-time friends who had been part of my life through various stages, both before and after motherhood. These friends understood my situation intimately and were always ready to lend an ear when I needed to vent about my ex’s antics or simply share how exhausted I felt. They welcomed my son to our gatherings, which was a relief since he wasn’t comfortable being away from me for long. Having the option to bring him along without any judgment was a blessing, allowing me to maintain my mental health amidst the chaos of parenting.
One of my closest friends, Jenna, has kids the same age as mine and lives just a stone’s throw away. She was always there for me, listening to my complaints, validating my feelings, and offering sympathy. Although she didn’t completely grasp the single parenting experience, our bond felt different from my relationships with other mom friends. Jenna has been transparent about her struggles too. When she confided in me about her marriage troubles, I was genuinely saddened for her and her child. Yet, a part of me also felt a sense of relief; if she became a single mom, we could navigate this journey together.
Nowadays, our lives resemble those carefree days of our youth, but instead of indulging in reality shows, we find ourselves streaming children’s programs. Living nearby allows us to grab a quick break together whenever we need it, which is essential for both our sanity. Single parenting can often feel lonely, so having someone to relate to regularly is invaluable.
Having known each other for so long means we’re also well-acquainted with each other’s ex-partners. When they make foolish decisions, we take on the role of the “petty police.” It may seem childish, but we find humor in it. She’ll leave cheeky comments on my ex’s social media, while I casually mention her ex in less-than-flattering terms when he’s around. We’ve got each other’s backs, and that’s what matters.
Jenna has been encouraging me to date again, despite my insistence that I’m not ready. Living with my parents and my child complicates things further, but I can’t help but live vicariously through her as she dips her toes back into the dating scene. Even after all these years, she still struggles with flirting and sexting, so I play the role of her Cyrano, offering advice and support. It’s a comforting return to our old dynamic before motherhood.
In return, I’ve been there for Jenna during her more serious moments. Divorce is tough, and there are times when she just needs a shoulder to cry on. I offer to entertain her kids so she can catch a nap, tidy up, or prepare for a job interview. The mutual support we provide each other is a lifeline, especially as we tackle the challenges of single parenting side by side.
I don’t wish to romanticize single parenthood; it can be incredibly difficult and isolating. Building a circle of friends who understand my experiences has been crucial for my well-being. I’m grateful to have found friends who truly get it — who provide support and love.
Additionally, I’ve discovered a wonderful online community through Facebook, where I’ve formed lasting connections with others who share similar experiences. Being able to converse with individuals who understand your struggles can be a lifeline you didn’t know you needed. When you’re overwhelmed and need someone to remind you that you can persevere, that kind of support is priceless.
The members of my tribe are there for me, and I am thankful for their companionship and understanding. As I often say, “We single moms must stick together,” and we truly do.
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Summary:
Creating a supportive community of fellow single moms has been essential for navigating the challenges of solo parenting. My friendships with those who understand my journey provide invaluable support, mutual understanding, and a sense of belonging. It’s crucial for single parents to find their tribe, as it significantly improves their mental and emotional well-being.